Moving Forward with head held high

A few weeks ago the Central District Superintendent wrote to the district about the action St Luke’s UMC in Indianapolis took.  She wrote: 

St. Luke’s United Methodist Church’s Governance Board, has voted to “support St. Luke’s pastors who choose to perform same sex marriages and the utilization of St. Luke’s facilities for such marriages. We are doing these things with the same pastoral commitment to provide marriage preparation and other supports that we provide to all Christian marriages we perform.”

I appreciate her informing the churches of the district of this news, since it is important in these challenging days in the UMC to be as transparent as possible.  But it was the next part that I struggled with.  She continued:

I have been in communication with St. Luke’s leadership regarding this decision. I have reminded them about what it means to be in faithful covenant and connection as a United Methodist Church during these liminal times.

I also write to condemn any copycat congregations that believe this is an entreé to mimic such actions, as St. Luke’s has been in the process of prayerful discernment for years and have taken the diligent steps of engaging their congregation to arrive at this decision. 

She makes it sound like this is a unique and isolated experience, but it is far from it.  Numerous churches have adopted this stance, including Meridian Street in 2019 shortly after the UMC General Conference in St. Louis.  I have included the Statement of Inclusion and Welcome that Meridian Street adopted that spring after the General Conference session.  We did not adopt that statement lightly, or trying to “copy” anyone else.  We adopted it because we were convinced it is what Jesus would want us to do.

Following the General Conference, I rewrote my sermon for that week.  Actually I know I did not sleep much that week and none the night before I shared my thoughts.  While the church was, and had been wrestling with what would become the Statement of Inclusion and Welcome, I needed to draw my line in the sand.  You can find that sermon here: https://smconger.blogspot.com/2019/03/grace-upon-grace.html

I was deeply offended by the Superintendent's response to St. Luke’s but even more so to the implications to the children she seemed to be scolding. Like too many in the hierarchy of the UMC she has minimal local church pastoral experience, and in times like these, it shows.  Her “I know best attitude” and “don’t you dare do anything without my permission”, shows her lack of understanding the complexity and challenges the UMC faces in the days ahead.  

I applaud St. Luke’s UMC for the stand that they have taken, but I also applaud Roberts Park, North, Meridian Street and so many others who have done and said the same thing.

Statement of Inclusion and Welcome

At Meridian Street United Methodist Church, we are committed to the foundational principles that God’s grace extends to all people and all people are of sacred worth to God.  We celebrate the gospel message of God’s boundless love and all the ways in which God’s family is diverse and whole. 

We welcome and affirm persons of any age, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, ethnic or cultural background, faith tradition, physical and mental ability, economic condition, marital status, family configuration or place on the spectrum of conservative, centrist or progressive.  

We affirm that all people are created in the image of God and that as beloved children of God, all are worthy of God’s love and grace. We welcome the full inclusion of all people in the life and ministry of Meridian Street United Methodist Church as we journey toward reconciliation through Christ.

We recognize the differences among us as wonderful gifts that teach us how to love alike even though we may not think alike.  We are confident that all of us, regardless of our views, can join arm in arm and heart in heart to build God’s kingdom.

We proclaim this statement of welcome to all who have known the pain of exclusion and discrimination in the church or in society and know that everyone’s participation in our ministries enriches us. We invite all people to join us in our faith journey toward greater love, understanding, and mutual respect.

You are loved and welcome here

You can lead and serve here

You can love and marry here

 

The Fear of Letting Go

 Ecclesiastes 7:14   (The Message)

On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won’t take anything for granted.

Back at the end of October, if you had asked me how hard this was going to be --- I would have told you (Actually, I did tell a few of you) that it would be --- NO PROBLEM

Boy was I wrong

I have found out that I have been lying to myself

Trying to find time to grieve (while trying to get a house ready to sell and moving) and trying hard not to show that you are grieving has been unbelievably hard!

And while next Sunday may be my last Sunday in the pulpit with you and I will be retired from parish ministry --- I still will be a pastor.

We have a lot going on the next few weeks. 

Tuesday the service for Ken Lauder (John & Phyllis)

Wednesday the service for Jo Baize

Saturday the service for Mike Hanlin

And sometime a service for Jean Weinheimer

WHAT A WEEK!

Then on:

June 6th we close on the sale of our home here in Indy

A home that we have loved!

June 8th the Northern Illinois conference has their memorial service for clergy who have died in the past year and my father will be recognized at our annual conference 

June 10th I will be recognized as a part of the retiring class from the Indiana Conference

June 11th is the one year anniversary of my father’s death and we will gather as a family to remember

June 17-19 we are hosting a wedding shower for our nephew

June 20 – July 4 we will be in Germany and Italy

It is exhausting just to think about it all!

What happens after July 1?

Rachel Metheny will be your pastor

    and

Nancy and I will be your friend

Part of the covenant that we agree to as United Methodist Clergy is that when we leave a church --- regardless of whether it is because of a move to a new church or to retirement or even an appointment to an extension ministry --- we leave the church we had been serving.  

We covenant with each other to only come by invitation of the new pastor, and not to interfere in that Pastor's ministry

Rev Rachel Metheny will be your pastor effective July 1 --- and I intend to do all in my power to help her succeed --- and the most important thing I can do to help her is stay out of the way.

Nancy and I have no idea where we will end up going to church.  The closest church to our new home is the church I grew up in through elementary school and was confirmed in.  I imagine will we give it a try --- but in the end --- I have told Nancy that she gets to pick where we go --- since she hasn't had a choice in the matter during our marriage.

But that is not what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about the fear of change --- or as I titled this sermon --- The Fear of Letting Go

NOBODY likes change ---

except maybe a baby with a dirty diaper

Most of us are paralyzed by the thought of change.

In his challenging book The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves, psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz tells the story of Marissa Panigrosso, who worked on the 98th floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center. 

She recalled that when the first plane hit the North Tower on September 11, 2001, a wave of hot air came through her glass windows as intense as opening a pizza oven.

She did not hesitate. 

She didn’t even pick up her purse, make a phone call or turn off her computer. 

She walked quickly to the nearest emergency exit, pushed through the door and began the ninety-eight-stairway decent to the ground. 

What she found curious is that far more people chose to stay right where they were. They made outside calls and even an entire group of colleagues went into their previously scheduled meeting.

Why would they choose to stay in such a vulnerable place in such an extreme circumstance?

Because they were human beings and human beings find change to be extremely difficult, if not practically impossible. 

To leave without being instructed to leave was a risk a risk many would not take.

 

Even among those people who chose to leave, there were some who went back to the floor to retrieve personal belongings they couldn’t bear to part with. 

One woman was walking down alongside Marissa Panigrosso when she stopped herself and went back upstairs to get the baby pictures of her children left on her desk. 

To lose them was too much for her to accept. 

That decision was fatal.

When human beings are faced with chaotic circumstances, our impulse is to stay safe by doing what we’ve always done before. 

To change our course of action seems far riskier than to keep on keeping on. 

To change anything about our lives, even our choice of toothpaste, causes great anxiety.

How we are convinced finally to change is by hearing stories of other people who risked and triumphed. 

Not some easy triumph, either. 

But a hard fought one that takes every ounce of the protagonist’s inner fortitude.

Because that’s what it takes in real life to leave a dysfunctional relationship, move to a new city, or quit your job. 

It just does.

I think it is because change requires loss. 

And the prospect of loss is far more powerful than potential gain. 

It’s difficult to imagine what a change will do to us. 

But change is coming and I want to address my fears of change --- my fears of letting go and in the process hopefully address some of yours.

I think the biggest fear --- the elephant in the room for you and for me is pretty much the same fear --- we just come at it a little differently

• Will we like the new way?

Will you like Pastor Rachel?

Will I like my new role as RETIRED?  

I can tell you that it scares the heck out of me

• With a new leader --- will you see all of my flaws that you overlooked

As I struggle with my insecurities

• At the end of the day --- did I make a difference?

The truth is we don't have to accept the reality that I will no longer be your pastor.

We can stick our head in the sand --- we can put out hands over our ears and sing --- falalalala

But it doesn't change anything

Hanging on keeps us from moving forward

6 years ago there were some families that were very close to Pastor Anne

The sad reality is --- some of them are no longer active in the church because they could not make the transition to the new guy (me)

Others of you loved Pastor Anne, but when the Conger's arrived you adapted to the new leadership --- and over time many of you came to love us and respect us, just as you had the previous pastors

Joseph Campbell put it this way:

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

BUT, I understand the reality of the situation

I have performed numerous weddings and baptisms

I have presided over way too many funerals 

I have been your pastor during the 200th celebration of this church

The construction of the Welcome Center

Two new playgrounds

Celebration Terrace

I have been your pastor during one of the most unimaginable times in our lives

Whether for you that is the breaking apart of the United Methodist Church or weathering the storm of the pandemic

As the author of Ecclesiastes says:

On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won’t take anything for granted.

And I will always cherish those memories and challenges

And nothing can take them away

Thankful that God was with us in both the good and the bad

I hope you will cherish them as well

But I also want you to make new memories --- and for Nancy and I to do the same

The other day when the storm came through I was looking out the window and watching the trees --- I had a revelation.

The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. 

They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. 

They understand the power of letting go. 

Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break.

We have to be flexible and let the winds of change blow.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind.  

But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.

Letting go doesn't mean that we don't care

Letting go doesn't mean we shut down

Letting go doesn’t mean that we cannot remain friends

Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people do what we want.

It means we give up resistance to the way things are.

It means we stop trying to do the impossible --- controlling that which we cannot --- and instead, focus on what is possible. 

And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.

Change is not easy

Letting go will not be easy

But we let go --- so that we can become what God desires us to be.

On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won’t take anything for granted.

Building God's Table: Filling God's Table

 Luke 14:15-24 Common English Bible

When one of the dinner guests heard Jesus’ remarks, he said to Jesus, “Happy are those who will feast in God’s kingdom.”

Jesus replied, “A certain man hosted a large dinner and invited many people. When it was time for the dinner to begin, he sent his servant to tell the invited guests, ‘Come! The dinner is now ready.’ One by one, they all began to make excuses. The first one told him, ‘I bought a farm and must go and see it. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I bought five teams of oxen, and I’m going to check on them. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’ When he returned, the servant reported these excuses to his master. The master of the house became angry and said to his servant, ‘Go quickly to the city’s streets, the busy ones and the side streets, and bring the poor, crippled, blind, and lame.’ The servant said, ‘Master, your instructions have been followed and there is still room.’ The master said to the servant, ‘Go to the highways and back alleys and urge people to come in so that my house will be filled. I tell you, not one of those who were invited will taste my dinner.’”

The quote at the top of your bulletin from Martin Searcy is fascinating --- especially if we believe there is any truth to it.

He writes:

Not one person who comes through your door comes haphazardly. By sending that guest to you, God is giving you the privilege of cooperating with Him (God) to move someone forward in their journey toward Jesus.

Now before we argue over if God is indeed sending EVERY person in through the door with intentionality --- the bigger question is the second half.

Do we believe we have a responsibility for everyone who walks into our lives?

And I am not asking if we have a responsibility to “do” everything or provide everything for them --- No what I am asking is --- do we have a responsibility to be Jesus to them?

And the second question --- Do we have a responsibility to fill God’s table?

Over the past month we have talked about the importance of table fellowship

In my life --- I have witnessed to the power of the table over and over again, and I have shared a number of those stories.

Even yesterday I saw it once again

The Gathering of Men had their monthly meeting

What I love about the Gathering is that it is a diverse group --- 

made up of men of different ages --- OK mostly older guys

but of different political and theological bends

What brings this group together

To learn and grow about God and the world --- and each other

We don’t aways agree --- but we leave respecting and caring for one another

And seeking BETTER solutions

As we sat around the table yesterday I was reminded of the stories about Ronald Regan, when he was President, and Tip O’Neil (democratic speaker of the House)

They didn’t see eye to eye on many things

But they often got together and shared a meal to LISTEN to each other and seek to find compromise

Compromise once wasn’t a dirty word

Or the heresy that it is today

Why did it work?

Because there was respect and integrity

They SAW each other

And that rarely happens today

We neither see nor listen to the other ---

IF we see them at all --- we tend to put people into preconceived boxes

When we started this series, we were looking at the story right before our story this week --- do you remember?

It was the story in which Jesus encourages us not to just invite those who can “repay us” by reciprocating the invitation.

 

Jesus said:

“The next time you put on a dinner, don’t just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor. Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be—and experience—a blessing. They won’t be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned—oh, how it will be returned!—at the resurrection of God’s people.” (The Message)

And then, in our story today Jesus tells us a parable and I believe we are left with a quandary.

The story seems pretty simple that Jesus tells.

A person arranges a wonderful dinner party and invites the usually suspects.

There isn’t anything out of the social norm of what he is doing.

But they all have excuses why they can’t come.

They’re too busy, wrapped up in all the usual concerns that make us not just pre-occupied but self-occupied.

I mean --- the excuses are pretty lame

Since none are going to show up --- the host --- clearly angered with his invitees --- sends out invitations to others.  And we are told the host says:

‘Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and down-and-out you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.’

All those who NEVER get invited to parties.

And the crazy thing is --- they come!

The host says there is still room --- so he sends his servant back out with the instructions:

“Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full!”

It is a perplexing story!

The most common way this text is dealt with is to shame people 

--- QUIT MAKING EXCUSES

Excuses will get you excluded from the kingdom

“Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my dinner party.” (The Message)

So is this a message of EXCLUSION?

I don’t think so 

I think it is an invitation that God’s table is big enough 

If we have the courage to say YES

I may have told this story before --- and if I have I apologize, but I think it says what I want to say better than anything I can think of.

I heard Tony Campolo share this story probably close to forty years ago.

It’s about a trip that he made to Honolulu. 

Now for those of you who have traveled any distance, you know that sometimes it takes a few days for you to get acclimated to a new time zone.

Tony woke up his first morning in Hawaii, his body telling him it was time to get up, but the clock showing 3:30 in the morning. 

Since he was wide awake he went out looking for someplace to get some breakfast. 

As you can imagine, the only place that he could find open could safely be called a “greasy spoon.” 

The cook/waiter came up to him and said: “What d’ya want?” 

Deciding that the safest bet was a donut, Tony asked for one and a cup of coffee. 

While he was sipping his coffee and eating his donut, the door swung open and in marched a group of provocative and boisterous prostitutes. 

They sat down a short distance from Tony and he heard one of the women say: 

“Tomorrow’s my birthday. I am going to be thirty-nine.”

Her “friend” said, in a rather nasty tone: 

“So what do you want from me? A birthday party? What do you want? You want me to get you a cake and sing ‘Happy Birthday’?” 

“Come on!” the woman said. “Why do you have to be so mean? I was just telling you, that’s all. Why do you have to put me down? I was just telling you that it was my birthday. I don’t want anything from you. I mean, why should you give me a birthday party? I’ve never had a birthday party in my whole life. Why should I have one now?” 

After a while the women left. 

Tony said to the guy behind the counter: “Do they come in here every night?” 

“Yeah!” He said. 

“The one that was sitting right here, does she come in every night?” 

“Yeah, that’s Agnes. Yeah, she comes in here every night. Why d’ya want to know?” 

“Because I heard her say that tomorrow is her birthday. What do you say that you and I do something about that? What do you think about us throwing a birthday party for her – right here – tomorrow night?” 

The guy said sure. 

“Look, if it is OK with you, I’ll get back here tomorrow morning about 2:30 and decorate the place. I’ll even get a birthday cake!” 

“No way,” said Harry (that was his name), “The Birthday cake’s my thing. I’ll make the cake.” 

At 2:30 the next morning Tony returned to the diner and began setting up decorations, including a sign made out of cardboard that read: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AGNES!” 

At 3:15 every prostitute in Honolulu was in the place. 

And at 3:30 on the dot, the door of the diner swung open and in came Agnes and her friend and everyone in the place shouted HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

Campolo says: 

Never have I seen a person so flabbergasted . . . so stunned . . . so shaken. Her mouth fell open. Her legs seemed to buckle a bit. Her friend grabbed her arm to steady her. As she was led to sit on one of the stools along the counter we all sang “Happy Birthday” to her. As we came to the end of our singing with “happy birthday dear Agnes, Happy Birthday to you,” her eyes moistened. Then, when the birthday cake with all the candles on it was carried out, she lost it and just openly cried. 

Harry mumbled, “Blow out the candles, Agnes! Come on! Blow out the Candles! If you don’t blow out the candles, I’m gonna hafta blow out the candles.” 

After a few moments --- he did! 

Then he handed her a knife and told her, “Cut the cake, Agnes. Yo, Agnes, we all want some cake.” 

Agnes looked down at the cake. Then without taking her eyes off it, she slowly said, “Look, Harry, is it all right with you if I . . . I mean is it OK if I kind of . . . what I want to ask you is . . . is it OK if I keep the cake a little while? I mean is it all right if we don’t eat it right away?” 

Harry shrugged and answered, “Sure! It’s OK if you want to keep the cake, keep the cake. Take it home if you want to.” 

“Can I?” she asked. Then, looking at me she said, “I just live down the street a couple of doors. I want to take the cake home, OK? I'll be right back. Honest!” 

She got off the stool, picked up the cake, and, carrying it like it was the Holy Grail, walked slowly toward the door. As we all stood motionless, she left. 

Tony said: Not knowing what else to do, I broke the silence by saying, ‘What do you say we pray?’” 

When Tony finished, Harry leaned over the counter and with a trace of hostility in his voice, said: “Hey! You never told me that you were a preacher. What kind of church do you belong to?” 

“I belong to a church that throws birthday parties for prostitutes at 3:30 in the morning.” 

Harry sneered as he answered, “No you don’t! There’s no church like that. If there was, I’d join it. I’d join a church like that.”

That, to me, is GRACE.

Unmerited assistance --- unmerited love

That’s the kind of table that the Christ sets for the world

And he wants to know --- are you coming?