Ephesians 3:1-12 (NRSV)
This is the reason that I Paul am a prisoner for Christ
Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles— for surely you have already heard of the
commission of God’s grace that was given me for you, and how the mystery was
made known to me by revelation, as I wrote above in a few words, a reading of
which will enable you to perceive my understanding of the mystery of Christ. In
former generations this mystery was not made known to humankind, as it has now
been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit: that is, the
Gentiles have become fellow heirs, members of the same body, and sharers in the
promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel.
Of this gospel I have become a servant according to the gift
of God’s grace that was given me by the working of his power. Although I am the
very least of all the saints, this grace was given to me to bring to the
Gentiles the news of the boundless riches of Christ, and to make everyone see
what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things;
so that through the church the wisdom of God in its rich variety might now be
made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was in
accordance with the eternal purpose that he has carried out in Christ Jesus our
Lord, in whom we have access to God in boldness and confidence through faith in
him.
For the most of my ministry, every January I have spent a couple
of weeks looking at the mission and vision of the church and doing my best to
remind you of it and of its importance.
In case you have forgotten ----
Meridian Street exists for only one reason: TO MAKE DISCIPLE
FOR JESUS CHRIST.
And we have defined that universal mission of the church by
saying: Through Christ we seek to grow in faith as we serve, love and share
God's unexpected grace
We make disciple with the goal of transforming the world
with the love of Jesus.
That is our sole purpose.
The question that every church struggles with --- certainly
that we struggle with --- is
how do we do
that
and what does
it look like
10 years ago or so, the leadership of Meridian Street
wrestled with that question and over the last few years was able to clarify by
vision with the statement:
We desire
to be "Communities thriving and growing in the fruit of the Spirit".
The problem, really has been, we
have often looked to prescriptions to try and do those things ---- become
representatives of the fruit of the spirit, (in case you have forgotten what
those fruit are: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), rather than go back to the
beginning.
And the beginning starts with ME
--- it starts with you
Being transformed ourselves
into Disciples of Jesus Christ --- before we head out to save the world
I know it is risky for me to say
this --- but I guess I have to trust you --- part of my journey is trying to be
honest with myself --- and that means being honest with you . . .
But during the winter of 2014 I
had a breakdown
Call
it what you will ---
Emotional
Spiritual
It cut me to the core --- and for
a time --- I did really good
But those demons have a strong
hold on me
I believe I preached my most
honest sermon that I have ever preached on February 15th, 2014. (not
that I remember that date!)
But even in it --- I was careful
not to be too honest
You of course didn't get to hear
it --- but it is on my blog site --- if you want to go back and read it
As I was working on my sermon for
today --- it really hit me
It was a LIE
Not
because what I preached wasn't true
It is
probably one of the most truthful sermons I have ever preached
It was a
lie because I failed to live it
I was
that most horrible of persons who preaches:
Do what I say
Not what I do
And I have had to ask myself ---
over and over again --- why didn't I practice what I preached?
Why did I give in to temptation
and make other things more important than the truly important things.
I have wrestled many sleepless
nights over this:
And I
have come to the conclusion that I had been telling myself a lie
It is a lie that many of us,
unfortunately, live by
One that is so extremely dangerous,
because we don't even know that we believe it
It
least not consciously
And the lie that I kept telling
myself was:
I can't
change
I didn't believe that I could
actually change --- and if I didn't believe I could change --- there was no
reason to even try!
And
so I didn't
The demons inside continued to whisper
to me --- “you can't”
And
I BELIEVED IT
And believing that was a LIE
What I am starting to realize is
that every healthy thing that God creates changes
Nothing that is truly alive stays stagnant
If it doesn't change --- it is
dead (or at least dying)
And I was (am?) dying
I love to quote John Maxwell --- I
have shared this with you before
Change
is inevitable
Growth
is optional
Instead of changing forward --- instead
of growing --- instead of becoming the man God wants me to be --- I gave in to
my demons and started dying
And the saddest part about it all
God
gave me many warning signs that I often ignored
·
I was hospitalization that
year with severe case of of vertigo
·
My need to go back on
the sleep apnea machine (which Nancy has been telling me over and over) And that I will do for a week or two and then
stop . . .
My body calls out to me and too
often I refuse to listen
I closed my ears and let the
demons fill my head and soil my heart
I created a soundtrack to blot out
the opportunities to grow healthy and instead chose to die slowly
So what does one do?
My first step in healthy transformation
is REALIZING THAT I CAN GROW
I can
change --- I can change
(it is a mantra that I must repeat)
In the greater scheme of things
--- coming to that realization may be the easiest step of all --- but without
it --- nothing will change
I must believe --- that I CAN CHANGE
The really hard part is looking
inside and asking yourself the really tough questions --- the questions we all
want to avoid
WHY
--- Why do I refuse to change?
And the answer for me came in the
most unlikely spot
As Nancy and I were preparing to
go to New Zealand a few years ago we re-watched the Lord of the Rings
trilogy. YES, it is long!!!! But well worth the effort.
In watching the videos, I realized
something about me --- this is hard for me to confess . . .
I am very driven by other people's
approval of me.
I crave it
What I mean by that is that if
somebody doesn't think I am doing a good job, or challenges my motives --- or
even quite simply just doesn't like me
I
take it personally
(I
don’t image any of you have that problem)
I do my best not to let you know
that I take it personally --- to let anybody know --- but I do --- it eats me
up inside.
And it is crazy some of the ways
that it manifests itself.
·
those of you who
haven't turned in your pledge cards --- yep, I take it personally
So lots of times
I try to not know who that is, so I won't be hurt
·
When somebody quits
the church --- even though I KNOW it’s not about me --- I take it personally
Crazy --- I know --- but that
doesn't mean it's not real
When this happens, I become hurt,
and angry and defensive
I don't like to admit that people
affect me that way
But they do
Unfortunately, other people's
opinions seem to matter a great deal to me (even if I pretend otherwise . . .)
I let them tell me who I am
It's
crazy --- I know
But
true
Don Miller on his blog wrote:
As I’ve
grown older and read more and more about psychology, I’ve realized that, in
part, this is by design. We really do shape our opinions about ourselves, in
large part, through the opinions of others. It’s as though we wear certain
clothes and act a certain way and try to succeed at things so other people will
tell us we are good or valuable. And when they do, we feel a little better
about ourselves and when they don’t, we start thinking we are losers
I am kind of slow
I
have to say things over and over to myself to get them to sink in
This past fall I had the
opportunity to hear Bob Goff.
The more I read his stuff --- the
more I wish I could be like him
He is a lover!
A
faithful lover!
He has extraordinary passion ---
extraordinary love
Gosh, I wish I could have it . . .
But one thing that he constantly
says is:
Don't let
the past define you
Don't let
others tell you who you are
I have told you that many times
--- but I haven't believed it myself!
I have let my past
my
fears
my
insecurities
control
me
They are demons who rejoice in me
making the same mistakes over and over again.
I have to learn to listen to the
RIGHT PEOPLE
And, maybe most importantly, I
have to remember why I was created
·
to love Jesus
·
to love Nancy
·
to be faithful to Nancy,
Jessica, Lindsey and Haley
When I do those things --- the
rest is pretty easy
But it all starts with ME
I have been seeking the love and
adoration of YOU
And
you have loved me more than I deserve
But when I have failed you --- and
I have failed all of you somewhere along the way --- your hurt at my failure
becomes magnified in my life in a crazy sort of way.
I have made the mistake in
believing that your love --- that, other's love is what I need in my life to
validate my worth.
So
when I disappoint or let someone down --- I feel like a looser
And because I have been chasing approval
from others --- I have failed to do the most important thing --- I have failed to
love myself!
I have to learn --- we all have to
learn --- how to really love ourselves!
Because, if we want to make a
difference in the world we must first change ourselves!
Over the next few weeks we are
going to look at how John Wesley transformed the world by changing himself.
If you haven't read Adam
Hamilton's book REVIVAL --- which is all about Wesley and the transformation
that took place in his life (and in the world) --- I encourage you to do so.
Paul in our text this morning
reminds us that we have all be called
Called to change the world with
the love of Jesus
It
starts with ME
It
starts with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment