Wednesday, October 31, 2018

FAKE NEWS: What Jesus Really Said


So What DID Jesus Really Say?

Matthew 22:34-40  (NRSV)
34 When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, 35 and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” 37 He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”




For the past five weeks Matt and I have looked at five often used phrases and have done our best to demonstrate to you why they are at best half truths, if not completely false and importantly why we need to stop using them.

In case you have forgotten we looked at:
·         Everything happens for a reason
·         God helps those who help themselves
·         God won't give you more than you can handle
·         God said it, I believe it, that settles it
·         Love the sinner, hate the sin

All of which are false and can have terrible, unintended, consequences to those we dump these phrases on

This morning what I want to look at is, if Jesus (nor the Bible) really said these things, then what in the world did Jesus really say?

I understand, we like a lot of these platitudes --- especially when we use them against someone else --- but if they are at best half truths, what are the greater truths that we find in Jesus?

I have joked all week that this could be the shortest sermon of my life.
          For the answer is pretty simple
                   What did Jesus say?
                             LOVE
                                      Love everyone, love all the time
Now I should just go and sit down


But I think you know me better than that ---

So when I say that what Jesus tells us is that we must LOVE, what do I believe he meant?

First of all, we must remember that Jesus was Jewish.
          Everything Jesus did was influenced by his Jewish upbringing

Sometimes I think we forget that, and try to turn Jesus into a person living in Indianapolis IN, in 2018 --- but he didn't live here, he certainly didn't live in this century, Jesus lived in Judea in the first century.

And the question we must ask is: what would be most important to a Jew living on the frontier edge of the Roman Empire in the first century?

I believe by studying the culture of 1st Century Judea, by reading the bible critically and by listening with our hearts and not just our heads to the message of Jesus --- that we can figure out what was at the center of Jesus' life.

Every day --- actual twice every day --- when waking and again when getting ready to retire for the evening and observant Jew in the first century would recite a creed.

This creed is found in what we call the Old Testament, but what I prefer to call the Hebrew Scriptures (because calling it old seems rather pejorative to me).

This creed that I am referring to is found in the Torah, the books of Moses.

This creed is at the core of Judaism.

According to Judaism 101
The Shema is one of only two prayers that are specifically commanded in Torah (the other is Birkat Ha-Mazon -- grace after meals). It is the oldest fixed daily prayer in Judaism, recited morning and night since ancient times. It consists of three biblical passages, two of which specifically say to speak of these things "when you lie down and when you rise up."

If you want to understand Jesus --- you need to understand this prayer --- this creed ---because this prayer is central to Jesus and Judaism.

Without this prayer, Jesus does not make sense.

This prayer goes like this:
Hear (Shema), O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Every day --- twice a day --- Jesus meditated upon these words.

And it is clear from the Gospels --- that these words were transformative in Jesus' life.

They are the core of who he is, and how he lived.
And they should be the core of who we are and how we live --- and most significantly how we follow Jesus.

What do they tell us?
First and foremost, and in no uncertain terms this creed remind us that: God is God alone --- there are no other god's besides the God of Israel.
This may be the most important message for us today, for the truth is, we have a multitude of god's that we bow down to everyday. 

Unfortunately most of which we have gotten so comfortable with our idols that we don't even perceive of them as competing gods or idols. 

But that is a sermon for another day --- maybe on one of my last few Sundays as your pastor because my hunch is many of you would not appreciate the message . . .

          Secondly, the Shema outlines for us a way of life.
                   We are to love God with our hearts, our souls and our strength.

          Third, the Shema gives us a spiritual path
·         memorize
·         recite
·         instruct
·         write out this Torah
·         wear reminders of this Torah

And if we do this, according to God there is a promise --- a promise that we will be blessed.

Every day --- twice a day --- Jesus meditated upon these words.

One day, Jesus encounters an "expert" in the Torah, and this "expert" asks Jesus:
          "Of all the commandments which is the most important."

I hope you see how ridiculous this question is, because this pious expert of the law already knew the answer, for he too would have meditated on this creed twice every day.

But Jesus did something rather surprising --- he recites the familiar and beloved Shema, but he adds to it --- and this is why for us as followers of Jesus it is important for us to pay attention.

Jesus said:
“The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”   (Mark 12:29-31)

If you want to know what Jesus really said --- it is all right there!

Can you imagine someone adding to the Lord's Prayer or the Apostle's Creed?
But that is exactly what Jesus did.

Jesus added that we must love God not only with our heart, not only with our soul and strength --- but also with our mind.
I think he wanted to make sure that we understood that it is to be TOTAL devotion to God.

But Jesus wasn't done there --- he also tied together a phrase that is found --- in that often misused book of Leviticus
I say misused, because it is often used today to call into question someone else's behavior when they break one of the 613 laws, but ignoring the reality that we personally break many of the others.

I think Jesus chose to add this because somehow he knew that millennia later we would be beating people up with the Torah.

And what did Jesus add? 
          ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

There is no other commandment greater than these he concludes --- WOW!

Thomas a‘ Kempis the author of the classical devotion: The Imitation of Christ wrote about this creed of Jesus --- saying that it has "put a whole dictionary into just one dictum."

In other words, if you want to be a follower of Jesus --- this Shema of Jesus must be not only on our lips but at the core of our being.

I don't want to in any way suggest that loving others hasn't always been an important part of Judaism.  It just wasn't a part of this creed. 
Remember this addition that Jesus adds to the Shema is from the book of Leviticus.

Scot McKnight in his amazing book: The Jesus Creed, writes:
Instead of a Love-God Shema, it is a Love-God-and-Others Shema.  What Jesus adds is not unknown in Judaism, and he is not criticizing Judaism.  Jesus is setting up his very own shop within Judaism.  Loving others is central to Judaism, it is not central to the creed of Judaism, to the Shema.  So, what Jesus says is Jewish.  But the emphasis on loving others in not found in Judaism's creed the way that it is found in the Jesus Creed.  Making the love of others part of his own version of the Shema shows that he sees love of others as central to spiritual formation.

At the end of the day --- when I am stuck trying to understand Scripture and the culture wars of our day --- I ask myself a simple question:
Does, whatever I am debating over -- demonstrate love of God and love to others.

That is my litmus test -- pure and simple

Maybe Desmond Tutu puts this into perspective better than most when he wrote:
I don't preach a social gospel; I preach the gospel, period. The gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is concerned for the whole person. When people were hungry, Jesus didn't say, 'Now is that political or social?' He said, 'I feed you.' Because the good news to a hungry person is bread.

It is time that we quite trying to put everyone into a neat box and think we have the solution to their problems. 

The Bible, if anything, facilitates more questions, more paradoxes than answers.

In her book The Preaching Life, Barbara Brown Taylor best summed up my relationship with the Bible when she wrote:
"My relationship with the Bible is not a romance but a marriage, and one I am willing to work on in all the usual ways: by living with the text day in and day out, by listening to it and talking back to it, by making sure I know what is behind the words it speaks to me and being certain I have heard it properly, by refusing to distance myself from the parts of it I do not like or understand, by letting my love for it show up in the everyday acts of my life."

We need to recognize our shortcomings to biblical understanding --- and allow our hearts and our minds to be open to wrestling with Jesus.

A website called The Bible Project best summed up the Shema for Christians.

The Shema is a beautiful prayer. There’s a reason why God’s people have been praying these words for millennia. They are simple words with the capacity to reshape the course of an entire life. The Shema can keep God’s love and loyalty in the forefront of your mind and drive you towards obedience, not out of obligation or duty, but out of love.

At the end of the day, following Jesus is about love. Love that came to us when we weren’t looking for it. And as we receive this love, it generates gratefulness, humility, and a commitment to honor and love in return. Love gives birth to more love, which, in turn, results in faithfulness and obedience. These are truths that can transform us from the inside out. Can you imagine a better way to never forget, than memorizing and praying the Shema twice a day? Maybe you should start today.

Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Maybe we should take some time and learn these words, write them on our lips and in our hearts.

My bet is the world would be a better place if we did.

I have no idea where I found this prayer, but I want to end with it this morning.

We believe in God, whose love for us never lets us go.
We believe in Jesus Christ, whose life of love we strive to follow.
We believe in the Holy Spirit, who makes God's love known to us.
We believe in the church, where we gather to pray, to praise, to serve ... and to try again.
We believe in the grace of God, which enables us to be a people of hope, joy, service and love. Amen


Wednesday, October 17, 2018

FAKE NEWS: God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It


Mathew 5:17-20
17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. 19 Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.





I have to admit, this is the one topic in this series that I have actually been looking forward to preaching on, because of all the pithy little sayings that Matt and I have been looking at, this one to me, is the most troublesome.

I think next week's topic (Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin) is the most difficult, so I am happy that I left that one for Matt to take a stab at.

But this week we focus on that statement that really came into vogue in the 60's and 70's as the whole issue of the inerrancy of the bible became a major concern.
This was a uniquely North American issue

It was promoted through a number of gospel recordings that presented the idea that God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it.  
Del Delker recorded a version that many people today still enjoy, but it was the Heritage Singers in 1976 who had the biggest hit with the song. 
The chorus goes:
God said it and I believe it
and that settles it for me
God said it and I believe it
and that settles it for me
Though some may doubt that His word is true
I've chosen to believe it, now how about you?
God said it and I believe it
And that settles it for me

In the fall of 1978, a group of conservative - evangelical Christians gathered in Chicago, in response to the historical critical method of Biblical scholarship that was rapidly becoming more and more popular with Biblical Scholars.

This gathering in Chicago produced what came to be known as the Chicago Statement of Biblical Inerrancy.  This eight-page document was signed by more than 200 evangelical leaders with the aim of defend the position of Biblical inerrancy against a perceived trend toward contextual understandings of Scripture.

In the preface to the document they write:
The authority of Scripture is a key issue for the Christian Church in this and every age. Those who profess faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior are called to show the reality of their discipleship by humbly and faithfully obeying God’s written Word. To stray from Scripture in faith or conduct is disloyalty to our Master. Recognition of the total truth and trustworthiness of Holy Scripture is essential to a full grasp and adequate confession of its authority.

The following Statement affirms this inerrancy of Scripture afresh, making clear our understanding of it and warning against its denial. We are persuaded that to deny it is to set aside the witness of Jesus Christ and of the Holy Spirit and to refuse that submission to the claims of God’s own Word which marks true Christian faith. We see it as our timely duty to make this affirmation in the face of current lapses from the truth of inerrancy among our fellow Christians and misunderstanding of this doctrine in the world at large.

I remember clearly when this statement came out. 

I was a student in college and was taking a Bible as Literature course and we had a lively discussion about this proclamation.

It is easy to understand how one could move from this statement to: God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it.  

The most common Biblical reference that is used to explain this position is found in the 2 Letter to Timothy that has incorrectly been credited to Paul.
2 Timothy 3:16-17    (New Revised Standard Version)
All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work.

I bet many of you are familiar with those verses.

But something interesting to note:

At the time of its composition there was no New Testament.
By the time of Paul's death, the only parts of the Bible we had was what we often call the Old Testament --- and even that was not yet codified. 
The Gospels, Acts, Revelation and many of the letters were not written yet; so they could hardly be referred to in this letter.

Even among the Jewish community there was not consensus on what was to become the Hebrew Scriptures.  Some argued for the prophets and writings, along with the Torah --- but others --- did not see them as authoritative. 
For some groups only the Torah was considered inspired by God.

Paul, as a Pharisees, would have seen the prophets and the writings as authoritative; so it is possible that when he wrote "all scripture is inspired by God" he might have been referring to them in response to these other groups.

But another question remains --- what does the author mean by INSPIRED?

Adam Hamilton writes:
In Greek this phrase is just one word, theopneustos.  It appears nowhere else in the Bible, nor as far as we know in other ancient literature, prior to Paul's use of the word here.  It comes from two words: theo, which means God, and pneustos, which refers to breath, wind, or spirit. . . . We can say for certain Paul believed in some sense all the sacred writings were influenced by God.  Precisely how, we can only speculate.

The question remains --- does inspired mean God actually said it?
          Think about that for a second

If you believe that the bible is the inerrant word of God --- that everything in it is what God proclaimed --- let me as you a couple of questions.

How do you feel about bathrooms in a church?
I am pretty convinced that someone on the original building committee was a literalist

In Deuteronomy you find this interesting passage:
Deuteronomy 23:12-14      (The Message)
Mark out an area outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourselves. Along with your weapons have a stick with you. After you relieve yourself, dig a hole with the stick and cover your excrement. God, your God, strolls through your camp; he’s present to deliver you and give you victory over your enemies. Keep your camp holy; don’t permit anything indecent or offensive in God’s eyes.

I think that our building committee wasn't too sure that one should go to the bathroom inside the church, hence why there were so few bathrooms in the original building.

It is easy to see how this passage --- taken literally --- could lead one to the conclusion that bathrooms are not allowed inside the church.

What are some other thing we would need to make sure we don't do
·         Don't wear blended fabrics or sow two different seeds in your fields (Leviticus 19:19)
·         eliminate pork and shrimp from your diet (Leviticus 11:7-12)
·         don't trim the edges of your beard (Leviticus 19:27)
·         Children who curse or strike their parents or who are persistently rebellious should be put to death (Exodus 21:15 & Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
·         Don't mow your yard or clean your house on Saturdays (the Sabbath), or you can be put to death (Exodus 35:2)
·         For women, if you are not a virgin when you marry, the men of your town are to stone you to death (Deut 22:21)

And I could go on and on --- but I think you get the point.

Is there anyone here who, as I read those prohibitions thought to themselves: God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it?

I kind of doubt it --- BUT --- I know what the response is --- these are all in the Old Testament and we are not bound by the Old Testament
Have you heard that one before?

What about when Jesus says this in Matthew?
Matthew 5:17-20     (New Revised Standard Version)
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus doesn’t seem to be suggesting that the Hebrew law is no longer valid --- instead a literal understanding is that we are to keep all 613 laws of the Hebrew Bible.

But even Jesus never seemed to interpret the law in a God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it, kind of way.

He often gave his own, unique interpretations to some of the laws found in the Hebrew Bible.

Like Jesus, we are called to interpret the bible

·         How many of us believe that women should be silent in the church?
·         Or submissive to their husbands?

Yet both of those are in the New Testament

Slavery was justified through the quoting of scripture

I doubt that there are many who really believe that God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it
          We all interpret scripture

My problem with people who tend to use the phrase: God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it, is that it is often used to beat up others.

I have never heard a person quote the Shema:
          Mark 12:29-32 (NRSV)
‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
And add to it the tag: God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it

I also don't believe that it is how the authors of our biblical texts understood what they were doing.

As I have studied the scriptures, what I have come to understand is that the writers did not claim that God was dictating to them --- instead they were writing their own understanding, insights and interpretations regarding the will of God.

The other day, a friend posted a picture of this scripture on FaceBook.
          2 Timothy 4:3-4      (Living Bible)
For there is going to come a time when people won’t listen to the truth but will go around looking for teachers who will tell them just what they want to hear. They won’t listen to what the Bible says but will blithely follow their own misguided ideas. 

It of course created a lively discussion. 

Mainly how wayward most people had become. 

Unfortunately, one of the key words in this quote isn't even in the original text.  And that word is BIBLE.  "They won’t listen to what the Bible says", The word Bible isn't there. 

And that additional word changes the meaning of the text.

The picture was quoting the Living Bible which is a paraphrase and not a word for word translation.  A more accurate translation would be:
2 Timothy 4:3-4      (New Revised Standard Version)
For the time is coming when people will not put up with sound doctrine, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own desires, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander away to myths.

Hearing that, you can see one of the problems is that the Bible itself is a translation, and unless we can read and comprehend ancient Hebrew and Greek we can never fully know just how good (or accurate) any translation really is.

I read the Bible to hear God speak through it --- I try to listen between the lines and understand the context in which a particular story was written.
          I interpret
                   Sometimes I do a good job interpreting,
                   Sometimes I probably don't do as well

But the bottom line for me is --- the Bible is not God --- it is, quoting Paul in his letter to the Corinthians --- "a mirror through which we see dimly"

A.J. Jacobs and Rachel Held Evans both tried to spend a year living the bible literally.  Taking every command and decree seriously and applying it to their lives.
          Neither was very successful

What both of them came to realize is that we all pick and choose the scriptures we hold near and dear --- the important thing --- is to pick the right things.

The Bible is a life giving book, and I believe we need to spend more time in study and interpretation of what it means to our lives today.

I don't have all the right answers.  But I am willing to join others on the journey of discovery.

As I was working on this sermon, I came across a Peanuts comic strip that has hung on my bulletin board at home for years.

For me it is a great reminder


It is my prayer that you join me on the journey of experiencing God.

Adam Hamilton suggests that instead of: God Said It, I Believe it, That Settles it; maybe we should try:
God influenced it, I read, study, and sometimes wrestle with it.  And as I interpret it in the light of Jesus Christ, I hear God speak through it and seek to live its words as best I can.

Monday, October 01, 2018

Fake News: God Won’t Give You More Than You Can Handle


God Won’t Give You More Than You Can Handle

1 Corinthians 10:1-13     NRSV
I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, that our ancestors were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual rock that followed them, and the rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them, and they were struck down in the wilderness.
Now these things occurred as examples for us, so that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not become idolaters as some of them did; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and they rose up to play.” We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did, and were destroyed by serpents. 10 And do not complain as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. 11 These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us, on whom the ends of the ages have come. 12 So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall. 13 No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.


How many times have we said it --- or maybe heard a friend say to us:
"I know you are going through a tough time right now. 
I know it feels like the world is collapsing in on you. 
I know you don't feel like to can take much more . . . BUT,"
and if they don't add our week one phrase: Everything Happens for a Reason --- they are likely to throw out this beauty: Don't worry, remember: God never gives us more than we can handle.

I don't know which of those two phrases I dislike more --- but both of them can be exceptionally damaging

I know that when we use these phrases that we are not intending to inflict harm on another ---
          We say things like this because we want to encourage ---
          we want to strengthen somebody (and we have no idea what else to say)

And I suppose that there are times when words like this are received positively and might even provide comfort.

But the idea that God won't give us more that we can handle is at best a half truth.

The passage that was read this morning from 1 Corinthians is often cited to justify this half truth.

Unfortunately when we use this passage in this way we are at best miss-interpreting it, if not downright miss-quoting it.

The text that (Libby/Bob) read this morning is from the New Revised Standard Bible and it choose to translate the Greek word peirasmos as tested --- and that is a legitimate translation of that word.

Reading it that way it is easy to see how some might come to the conclusion: God won't give you more than you can handle.

But the better translation, when one looks at the passage in context is what the New American Standard Version, The New King James and The NIV all use.  Ant that is to translate peirasmos as tempted.

Listen to what Paul writes: (v13) (NASB)
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Go back and read this entire section of scripture and you can see why temptation makes more sense --- Paul clearly is writing about temptations that we face (not hardships)
          things like sexual immorality and idolatry.

Paul founded the church in Corinth around the year 51 CE --- at the time it was a large cosmopolitan sea port in Greece.

Ancient Corinth is a wonderful city to visit, even today, but during the time of Paul pagan influences were everywhere.

I once heard Corinth called the Las Vegas of the ancient world.

Paul is reaching out in this letter to his sisters and brothers who live in this wayward city and trying to give them encouragement to leave behind the idol worship and the temple prostitution that would have been a part of daily life.

The Christians in Corinth were surrounded by temptation
          Sexual immortality 
          Idol worship
          Food that had been sacrificed (dedicated) to the "gods"

So the context for this passage is self-discipline in the face of temptation. 

Paul is telling the Corinthian Christians that their experience was just like the ancient Israelites and that God would help them overcome temptation.

This passage has nothing to do with God not giving us more that we can handle and everything to do with how God will help us in the face of temptation.

Obviously there is another sermon that can be based upon just what Paul means when he says that: "God (who) is faithful, will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able".  But that is for another day.

I want to dig a bit deeper into this idea that God won't give us more than we can handle.

There is a part of each of us that finds great comfort in the idea that the problems and difficulties we face are not insurmountable, that God won't put on us more than we can handle, but
          There is also a flip side to it.

When we use this phrase in hard moments, it makes it sound as if all the horrible things in our life come from God.

Think about that for just a second

When we use the words “God” and “gives” in that way, what many hear is:

·         God gave the cancer
·         God caused the car accident
·         God took the child
·         God sent hurricane Florence to the Carolinas

We are saying that GOD causes the horrible pain in our live.

Two weeks ago I shared why Everything Happens for a Reason is not biblical and wrong.  God doesn't do these things!

Adam Hamilton in HALF TRUTHS writes:

I remember a conversation on this subject with a woman who told me, “For years this statement helped me when I was facing difficult things. I kept telling myself that God wouldn’t give me more than I could handle. It reassured me that somehow I was going to make it through. Then one day I was at my therapist’s office and mentioned it to him. He laughed and said, ‘Are you kidding me? Surely you don’t really believe that. I can tell you plenty of stories about people who had more than they could handle. In fact, my profession consists of helping just such people.’

The counselor reminded the woman that in her own case, she had come to him because the emotional pain and difficulty she was facing had been more than she could handle. In addition, the woman’s mother had committed suicide because life had become more difficult than she could handle.

At first, the woman was angry that her therapist had called her belief into question. But the more she reflected on their conversation, the more she concluded that he was right. Maybe sometimes we face situations that truly are more than we can handle, and that's why we turn to others for help.

The plain truth of the matter is --- we all face adversity in our lives.
          None of us are immune from hardships.
·         People we love may be facing cancer or another terminal illness.
·         We or someone we love may be battling addiction
·         We may struggle with depression and suicidal thought
·         We may have been victims of crime and are holding all that hurt inside
·         We may be struggling with children or grandchildren who are on a downward spiral

WE ALL FACE ADVERSITY

We cannot avoid hardship

I love the hymn What God Hath Promised by Annie Flint. 
Her story is one of terrible hardship and pain and yet she wrote these beautiful words

God has not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God has promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.

The odds are, and some point in our life --- we are going to face more than we can handle.
          That's why there are doctors
          Counselors
          Therapists
          and Friends!

Scripture never promises us that we won't face more than we can handle

The promise of scripture is that we don't have to go through it alone!

It’s not that God won’t give you more than you can handle, but that God will help you handle all that you’ve been given.

I know when we say things like: Everything Happens for A Reason or God Won't Give You More than You Can Handle that you mean well and your heart is on the right place. 

So what can we say instead --- let me offer some suggestions:

Most importantly --- more than anything else what is needed is:

          Your presence
                    Just be present
                    Sit, listen --- pass a tissue
                    Be comfortable with uncomfortable silence
                    Offer a hug

And if you must offer words --- please don't use: Everything Happens For A Reason or God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle --- instead offer reminders how they are strong
·         That they can overcome
·         That we have seen great strength in their life in the past and know it is there now
·         Remind them that they are good
·         Encourage them that getting help isn't a sign of weakness but one of strength

Let them know that you care --- not that you have answers

Let them know that they are not alone
          You will be there with them
          God will be there with them as well

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is in Paul's letter to the Church at Rome

We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.
What the shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31, 35, 31‑39

I think there is a good reason why we are attracted to our first three half truths.

If God causes the problems (because everything happens for a reason)

If God won't cause us to bear more than we can handle

Then God will help those who help themselves --- In other words --- it is our job to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and FIX our problems

But that is not how it works

Bad things happen --- and we aren't always at fault

Things happen that are well beyond our capacity to solve

It is in working together --- with God --- that a community --- a society --- flourishes --- and that happens when we help each our --- when we help ALL of God's children to rise above.