So What?

My last Sunday preaching was June 5th of this past year. It has been enlightening to visit a number of churches to see how others do worship.  A number of things have become evident, the biggest being we seem to have lost the art of hospitality (if we ever had it) but that is a topic for another day.  One of the biggest realizations is that many pastors have no idea what the purpose of a sermon is.

I am sure I had this same problem, but somewhere along the line I decided I needed to ask myself a question each week as I prepared my sermon.  “So What?”  So what if I preach this message — or of course, another way to say that is, what is it I am trying to accomplish with this message. Yet I will be the first to admit, sometimes I forgot this important question.

Too often it feels like a pastor has an idea, but doesn’t know what to do with it; or maybe more importantly, what I (as listener) am to do with it.  A sermon should do a couple of things.  First it should inspire.  Inspire awe in God, inspire awe in creation, inspire awe in humanity, inspire awe in possibilities.  Most of the sermons I have heard do a decent job of doing that.  Secondly, and relatedly, a sermon should teach.  It should illuminate the text (inspire awe in the text) that makes me want to learn more about the situation in which they are placing the sermon.  I want to feel like I learned something about the biblical story that is the core of the sermon.  Again, at least with the majority of the sermons we have heard, the preacher has done a good job at that.  As one woman said today, she really likes her pastor because he is such a good teacher.  

It is the final part that often seems to be missing.  WHAT IS THE POINT?  What is the takeaway for me to chew on this afternoon and week?  What is it that God is calling me to do?  The SO WHAT question.  How is this sermon causing me to grow, change, or at least challenge some of my encultured assumptions.  Rare is the sermon that seems to do that.  Often I leave feeling like the pastor was unsure, or timid to share what the message is calling me to do.  Maybe they are hoping that I will get there on my own, but really??

This really hit me when a church we were visiting had a lay person preaching.  He was very knowledgeable about the text, but seemed afraid to share what the text was inviting us to do.  I don't think this was just his problem. Unfortunately, I have encountered some level of this many of the Sunday’s we have attended church.  

Of course there is always the other extreme --- a sermon that is all about the how you are to live, but very little to do with the actual understanding of the biblical story. I am not sure that is helpful either because at least in my experience, the biblical exegesis that is done is rather shoddy and fixed to the point being made (proof texting anyone . . .). Somehow we need to develop balance. Quality scholarship, along with a message that has real and practical impact on my life and the betterment of society.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to be sitting on the sidelines.  I am thankful for having had amazing mentors, teachers, and colleagues who helped me grow as a preacher/teacher.  I hope and pray that I can do the same for others.

Well done, good and faithful servant

Yesterday Nancy and I made the 7+ hour roundtrip to Indianapolis to attend the funeral of Jim Baize. Jim's wife was one of my last funerals before I retired. Jim was a unique guy. His storytelling style reminded me a lot of my father. And more than anything he was a good friend. He is one of the last survivors from the Iwa Jima campaign. This is my homily from the service. One thing that I shared at the graveside but not in the service is that Jim had given me some sand from Iwa Jima on one of my many visits. I saved that sand and poured it into his grave.

Eugene Peterson in his translation/interpretation of the Bible known as the message gives us this passage from the Second Letter of Timothy, the 4th Chapter, with a few minor modifications by me.

You take over. I’m about to die, my life an offering on God’s altar. This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way. All that’s left now is the shouting—God’s applause! Depend on it, (God’s) an honest judge. (God will) do right not only by me, but by everyone eager for (God’s) coming.

My name is Steven Conger, and I am a retired pastor from here at Meridian Street United Methodist Church.  I am humbled that we can share in this service remembering and celebrating Jim with you.  Jim loved this church, and touched many, many peoples lives.  Nancy and I loved Jim and Jo, they were an important part of our lives and we are thankful that we could call both of them friends! 

We grieve today at Jim’s death, but we grieve --- as people of hope. 

Richard Rohr in his book, Quest for the Grail writes:

What the spiritual journey teaches us is that in the end there is only love. And the foundation of everything . . . is finally love. . . .We’re standing on love.

Jim stood on love — the love of his family and friends — the love of God.

Jim, as you have already heard, was ready.  He never expected to outlive Jo. And when she died, a piece of him died. 

Jim has experienced a lot of death in his life.

Jo last spring

His beloved daughters Karen & Denise

But Jim also saw too much death during World War II

As he was bringing troops ashore during the landing on Iwa Jima his landing craft was destroyed and all the troops on board were killed — except for Jim.

Jim, as you know, once he found himself ashore, joined the fight for control of the Island, getting wounded in the process.  A marine by the name of Jack made Jim an honorary Marine that day.

Every time Jim told me that story you could feel the conflict in his soul.  He was proud in the roll that he played in helping to end the war against fascism — but the lives lost — the brutality of it all seared a hole in him.

When sharing with our men’s group he said that it was in remembering — and telling the story that he found peace.  An uneasy peace — but peace nevertheless.

I am convinced that his experience in World War II is what drove him to the high level of success that he gained.

Those lives lost in that Higgins LCVP boat #13 never left him

And they helped him to become all that he was

But another big part of his healing and success, I am certain was a divorcee that he met by the name of Lora Jo.

Together they build a life of compassion and love.

I could have easily have used the scripture that I chose for Jo’s service today — 1 Corinthians 13 

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable; it keeps no record of wrongs; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

Can you think of better words to be said about you at your funeral?

 

For both Jim and Jo — those words ring true.

      

Paul reminds us that love is not only the greatest gift --- but it is also a gift that never ends.

Even death cannot take away the love that has influenced each of your lives.

I know that each of us here today have been blessed because our lives crossed paths with Jim’s.

A friend of mine shared this story with me years ago.

One evening during World War II a father and his young daughter were out in a part of London that they were not all that familiar with.

While they were walking — the heard the sirens begin to go off — signaling that the German planes were on their way to bomb the city.

They continued on their way — but soon added to the blare of the sirens was the report of anti-aircraft fire.

The father began to look around for a safe place for shelter — since he was unfamiliar with that part of the city.

As he could see the planes getting closer — he scrambled over to the side of a building that had been destroyed in an earlier raid.  

He encouraged his daughter to jump into the basement of this bombed out building — but his daughter said — I can’t — I am afraid.

The planes were getting closer and he could see the bombs falling from the sky.  So he once again begged his daughter to jump into the basement and have some protection from the coming storm.

Once again she said: I can’t — I am afraid.

The father — seeing that the bombs would soon be upon them did something that I am not sure I could do.  He left his daughter on the ledge and jumped into the dark hole below.

From there he called to his daughter:  Sweetheart — you must jump — the bombs are getting close.

She replied: I can’t — I am afraid — I can’t see you.

And her father said — that’s OK, I can see you.

And she jumped into the loving arms of her father.

None of us can fully SEE

Paul called in a dark mirror

But God can see us

Jim has made the leap into the loving arms of our God — and has been welcomed home.

Kindling a Light in the Darkness

When I retired, Nancy and I knew that it would be a while before we found our way back into the institutional church.  First off, we were busy moving, getting settled, traveling and then making room for Jessica, Sam, Hattie and Jude.  We still haven’t found our routine, but I know that it will come.  Second, we needed some time and space.  We (well at least me) felt betrayed by the institution, and even though I would not go back, I wasn’t completely ready for this next phase.  But what has been most challenging, has been finding a church.

Yes, we live in suburbia and we are surrounded by churches.  But I am unwilling to go to a church that thinks it has all the answers.  Or worse yet, that the Bible has all the answers.  So any church that says: 

We believe that both the Old and New Testaments are literally God's own words, recorded for us through the words of human authors. We believe that the Bible is without error in its original writings . The Bible is complete, and is not to be "added to or subtracted from." 

Is not for me.  Nor do I want to attend a church that is promoting (often subtly) white supremacy, replacement theory, or any form of homophobia.  Nor one that is still wrapped up in the culture wars of the UMC.  Get over it.

So what am I looking for?  A church that shares the love of Jesus Christ, is engaged actively in social justice, and full of hospitality for all.

Pipe dream?  I sure hope not.

We have attended two churches that we have some historical connection with.  One the church that I attended through seventh grade and was confirmed at (a picture of my confirmation class is on the wall).  And also the church that a friend was pastor at, and retired from.  In both cases, we made sure that the church had our contact information.  At one of them we spoke with the pastor and at the other we spoke with the person in charge of new members.  Have we heard from either one since?  Nope.  Not a thing.

We wonder why the church is dying across the land and fewer and fewer people are willing to call themselves followers of Jesus?  Young people have no interest in a church that is judgmental or self-centered.  Both of those qualities do not represent the Jesus I have come to know.  

It breaks my heart to watch the self-destruction of “United Methodism”.  Much like our current political climate, there are no “winners” as we try to destroy each other.  Any church that engages in the back and forth that has been going on, does not represent the love of Jesus.

Will we find a church?  To be honest, I do not know.  The local church has been central to my 62 years of life.  Yes I have seen many changes in that institution, some good and some, well, some not so good.  But it truly feels weird being on the outside.

Until we (you know that royal “we”) stop putting our own priorities ahead of Jesus.  Whatever, and however good intentioned those priorities may be; there will not be a church.  At least not a church that is in harmony with Jesus.   Carl Jung once said: “As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.”

 

Moving Forward with head held high

A few weeks ago the Central District Superintendent wrote to the district about the action St Luke’s UMC in Indianapolis took.  She wrote: 

St. Luke’s United Methodist Church’s Governance Board, has voted to “support St. Luke’s pastors who choose to perform same sex marriages and the utilization of St. Luke’s facilities for such marriages. We are doing these things with the same pastoral commitment to provide marriage preparation and other supports that we provide to all Christian marriages we perform.”

I appreciate her informing the churches of the district of this news, since it is important in these challenging days in the UMC to be as transparent as possible.  But it was the next part that I struggled with.  She continued:

I have been in communication with St. Luke’s leadership regarding this decision. I have reminded them about what it means to be in faithful covenant and connection as a United Methodist Church during these liminal times.

I also write to condemn any copycat congregations that believe this is an entreé to mimic such actions, as St. Luke’s has been in the process of prayerful discernment for years and have taken the diligent steps of engaging their congregation to arrive at this decision. 

She makes it sound like this is a unique and isolated experience, but it is far from it.  Numerous churches have adopted this stance, including Meridian Street in 2019 shortly after the UMC General Conference in St. Louis.  I have included the Statement of Inclusion and Welcome that Meridian Street adopted that spring after the General Conference session.  We did not adopt that statement lightly, or trying to “copy” anyone else.  We adopted it because we were convinced it is what Jesus would want us to do.

Following the General Conference, I rewrote my sermon for that week.  Actually I know I did not sleep much that week and none the night before I shared my thoughts.  While the church was, and had been wrestling with what would become the Statement of Inclusion and Welcome, I needed to draw my line in the sand.  You can find that sermon here: https://smconger.blogspot.com/2019/03/grace-upon-grace.html

I was deeply offended by the Superintendent's response to St. Luke’s but even more so to the implications to the children she seemed to be scolding. Like too many in the hierarchy of the UMC she has minimal local church pastoral experience, and in times like these, it shows.  Her “I know best attitude” and “don’t you dare do anything without my permission”, shows her lack of understanding the complexity and challenges the UMC faces in the days ahead.  

I applaud St. Luke’s UMC for the stand that they have taken, but I also applaud Roberts Park, North, Meridian Street and so many others who have done and said the same thing.

Statement of Inclusion and Welcome

At Meridian Street United Methodist Church, we are committed to the foundational principles that God’s grace extends to all people and all people are of sacred worth to God.  We celebrate the gospel message of God’s boundless love and all the ways in which God’s family is diverse and whole. 

We welcome and affirm persons of any age, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, ethnic or cultural background, faith tradition, physical and mental ability, economic condition, marital status, family configuration or place on the spectrum of conservative, centrist or progressive.  

We affirm that all people are created in the image of God and that as beloved children of God, all are worthy of God’s love and grace. We welcome the full inclusion of all people in the life and ministry of Meridian Street United Methodist Church as we journey toward reconciliation through Christ.

We recognize the differences among us as wonderful gifts that teach us how to love alike even though we may not think alike.  We are confident that all of us, regardless of our views, can join arm in arm and heart in heart to build God’s kingdom.

We proclaim this statement of welcome to all who have known the pain of exclusion and discrimination in the church or in society and know that everyone’s participation in our ministries enriches us. We invite all people to join us in our faith journey toward greater love, understanding, and mutual respect.

You are loved and welcome here

You can lead and serve here

You can love and marry here

 

Chasing Francis --- the joy of the journey

It has been a long time since I sat in front of the computer to write my thoughts.  So much has happened in the six weeks since I retired.  Besides the amazing trip to Germany and Italy, we have struggled to find a routine in our new life.  Having our daughter Jessica, her husband Sam and their two kids Hattie (4) and Jude (9 months) living with us has made finding a routine hard.  They are in the process of selling their condo in Chicago and hope to move out to the suburbs near us.  When that all falls into place we will be complaining that the house is too quiet.  That is the way the world works sometimes.

One of the things I am enjoying is being able to read the books I want to read.  I continue working my way through the Donna Leon books, as well as William Kent Kruger’s Cork series.  The next in the series weren’t available at the library so I picked up Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim’s Tale instead.  St Francis has always been an enigma to me, but through the prodding of Matt Landry, and the ongoing encouragement of Bob Barr; Francis has come to life.  While our visit to Assisi was a disappointment to me, Francis has become more and more important.  Richard Rohr has become a comforting friend through his writings and daily devotion to help me understand a wee bit about the way that Francis lived.  I have always been drawn to the remark from Marcus Borg that Jesus was the most God-like person to ever have lived.  I am coming to see Francis as the most Jesus-like person to have ever lived.

Ian Morgan Cron’s novel is about a fundamentalist pastor who begins to struggle with questions of faith, but because of his position as pastor, can’t.  Chase Falson, the pastor in the story could be me.  For the past number of years I have struggled with the same questions that he did.  Fortunately for me, for the most part I have served in churches that were willing to let me “Wrestle with God”.  Unfortunately for me, I too had to face the piper and experienced the same fate Chase did.  

Just about a year ago, I was called into a meeting with my District Superintendent: we call them Conference Superintendents now, but I am not ready to change my language.  At that meeting she gave me an ultimatum.  I could take a new appointment, or I could retire --- she claimed the church did not want me to return (which was not true).  Why did she do that?  I have no idea.  I was dumbfounded at what she told me, and even more so when I came to understand that she bold-faced lied to me.

For the past year, I have had to process what it means to be forced out, when the church does not want you to go, and what that means to my relationship with God.  Like Chase, at first I was pretty pissed off.  We all like to retain our agency, and don’t like someone else undercutting that.  Then I became angry at the church.  Not Meridian Street, they are somewhat innocent bystanders (although some are complicit in the lie that was perpetuated).  I hate to see the damage that was done in the way that this was handled to MSUMC.

In the end, as I sit out on my deck (swatting mosquitoes) on warm evening --- I am happy where things ended up.  In many ways, I am closer to God than I have been in a long time.  I love not having to go to meetings every stinking night, and to be able to sleep in (ok, with a nine month old that isn’t really happening). I love being closer to my family; our girls, the grandkids, my mom, my nieces and nephew and yes, even my brother.  Life is good.

I encourage you to pick up Chasing Francis, because you just may find your story in there as well.

The Fear of Letting Go

 Ecclesiastes 7:14   (The Message)

On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won’t take anything for granted.

Back at the end of October, if you had asked me how hard this was going to be --- I would have told you (Actually, I did tell a few of you) that it would be --- NO PROBLEM

Boy was I wrong

I have found out that I have been lying to myself

Trying to find time to grieve (while trying to get a house ready to sell and moving) and trying hard not to show that you are grieving has been unbelievably hard!

And while next Sunday may be my last Sunday in the pulpit with you and I will be retired from parish ministry --- I still will be a pastor.

We have a lot going on the next few weeks. 

Tuesday the service for Ken Lauder (John & Phyllis)

Wednesday the service for Jo Baize

Saturday the service for Mike Hanlin

And sometime a service for Jean Weinheimer

WHAT A WEEK!

Then on:

June 6th we close on the sale of our home here in Indy

A home that we have loved!

June 8th the Northern Illinois conference has their memorial service for clergy who have died in the past year and my father will be recognized at our annual conference 

June 10th I will be recognized as a part of the retiring class from the Indiana Conference

June 11th is the one year anniversary of my father’s death and we will gather as a family to remember

June 17-19 we are hosting a wedding shower for our nephew

June 20 – July 4 we will be in Germany and Italy

It is exhausting just to think about it all!

What happens after July 1?

Rachel Metheny will be your pastor

    and

Nancy and I will be your friend

Part of the covenant that we agree to as United Methodist Clergy is that when we leave a church --- regardless of whether it is because of a move to a new church or to retirement or even an appointment to an extension ministry --- we leave the church we had been serving.  

We covenant with each other to only come by invitation of the new pastor, and not to interfere in that Pastor's ministry

Rev Rachel Metheny will be your pastor effective July 1 --- and I intend to do all in my power to help her succeed --- and the most important thing I can do to help her is stay out of the way.

Nancy and I have no idea where we will end up going to church.  The closest church to our new home is the church I grew up in through elementary school and was confirmed in.  I imagine will we give it a try --- but in the end --- I have told Nancy that she gets to pick where we go --- since she hasn't had a choice in the matter during our marriage.

But that is not what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about the fear of change --- or as I titled this sermon --- The Fear of Letting Go

NOBODY likes change ---

except maybe a baby with a dirty diaper

Most of us are paralyzed by the thought of change.

In his challenging book The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves, psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz tells the story of Marissa Panigrosso, who worked on the 98th floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center. 

She recalled that when the first plane hit the North Tower on September 11, 2001, a wave of hot air came through her glass windows as intense as opening a pizza oven.

She did not hesitate. 

She didn’t even pick up her purse, make a phone call or turn off her computer. 

She walked quickly to the nearest emergency exit, pushed through the door and began the ninety-eight-stairway decent to the ground. 

What she found curious is that far more people chose to stay right where they were. They made outside calls and even an entire group of colleagues went into their previously scheduled meeting.

Why would they choose to stay in such a vulnerable place in such an extreme circumstance?

Because they were human beings and human beings find change to be extremely difficult, if not practically impossible. 

To leave without being instructed to leave was a risk a risk many would not take.

 

Even among those people who chose to leave, there were some who went back to the floor to retrieve personal belongings they couldn’t bear to part with. 

One woman was walking down alongside Marissa Panigrosso when she stopped herself and went back upstairs to get the baby pictures of her children left on her desk. 

To lose them was too much for her to accept. 

That decision was fatal.

When human beings are faced with chaotic circumstances, our impulse is to stay safe by doing what we’ve always done before. 

To change our course of action seems far riskier than to keep on keeping on. 

To change anything about our lives, even our choice of toothpaste, causes great anxiety.

How we are convinced finally to change is by hearing stories of other people who risked and triumphed. 

Not some easy triumph, either. 

But a hard fought one that takes every ounce of the protagonist’s inner fortitude.

Because that’s what it takes in real life to leave a dysfunctional relationship, move to a new city, or quit your job. 

It just does.

I think it is because change requires loss. 

And the prospect of loss is far more powerful than potential gain. 

It’s difficult to imagine what a change will do to us. 

But change is coming and I want to address my fears of change --- my fears of letting go and in the process hopefully address some of yours.

I think the biggest fear --- the elephant in the room for you and for me is pretty much the same fear --- we just come at it a little differently

• Will we like the new way?

Will you like Pastor Rachel?

Will I like my new role as RETIRED?  

I can tell you that it scares the heck out of me

• With a new leader --- will you see all of my flaws that you overlooked

As I struggle with my insecurities

• At the end of the day --- did I make a difference?

The truth is we don't have to accept the reality that I will no longer be your pastor.

We can stick our head in the sand --- we can put out hands over our ears and sing --- falalalala

But it doesn't change anything

Hanging on keeps us from moving forward

6 years ago there were some families that were very close to Pastor Anne

The sad reality is --- some of them are no longer active in the church because they could not make the transition to the new guy (me)

Others of you loved Pastor Anne, but when the Conger's arrived you adapted to the new leadership --- and over time many of you came to love us and respect us, just as you had the previous pastors

Joseph Campbell put it this way:

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

BUT, I understand the reality of the situation

I have performed numerous weddings and baptisms

I have presided over way too many funerals 

I have been your pastor during the 200th celebration of this church

The construction of the Welcome Center

Two new playgrounds

Celebration Terrace

I have been your pastor during one of the most unimaginable times in our lives

Whether for you that is the breaking apart of the United Methodist Church or weathering the storm of the pandemic

As the author of Ecclesiastes says:

On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won’t take anything for granted.

And I will always cherish those memories and challenges

And nothing can take them away

Thankful that God was with us in both the good and the bad

I hope you will cherish them as well

But I also want you to make new memories --- and for Nancy and I to do the same

The other day when the storm came through I was looking out the window and watching the trees --- I had a revelation.

The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. 

They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. 

They understand the power of letting go. 

Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break.

We have to be flexible and let the winds of change blow.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind.  

But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.

Letting go doesn't mean that we don't care

Letting go doesn't mean we shut down

Letting go doesn’t mean that we cannot remain friends

Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people do what we want.

It means we give up resistance to the way things are.

It means we stop trying to do the impossible --- controlling that which we cannot --- and instead, focus on what is possible. 

And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.

Change is not easy

Letting go will not be easy

But we let go --- so that we can become what God desires us to be.

On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won’t take anything for granted.