The Waiting is the Hardest Part

In 1981, Tom Petty released Hard Promises, and on it was a song called “The Waiting.”  At many points in our lives, we all can related to the song:

The waiting is the hardest part

Every day you get one more yard

You take it on faith, you take it to the heart

The waiting is the hardest part

On Monday, I had a biopsy done (actually 14 biopsies) on my prostate.  And I am not sure which was harder, the run up to the biopsy or sitting here now waiting on the results.

My father had prostate cancer, that is part of the reason the Urologist wanted the biopsy. My PSA had been rising (crossed the dreaded 4 threshold in the fall) and was now over 5, and an MRI done in late January resulted in these reassuring results 🙄 “Indeterminate (the presence of clinically significant cancer is equivocal).  Why can’t they spell out the results in plain English?

So with those equivocal results in hand (and a family history) the urologist wanted to go to the next step: biopsy.  To be honest, before I got the call, that is what I expected him to do.  My father always used to say: “most men will die WITH prostate cancer, not from it.”  Which is exactly what he did.  The prostate cancer, even though his was extremely aggressive (Gleason 9), did not kill him.  He was able to successfully treat the cancer.

I don’t think I slept at all the two nights prior to the procedure.  The waiting for Monday morning was eating me up.  Cancer runs in my family, Stewart died of cancer, and my mom has battled breast cancer.  So you can imagine all the thoughts running through my brain.  The unknown of what it would feel like to have them biopsy me certainly played a part, and I can confidently say, it wasn’t terrible, but I would not recommend it to anyone unless necessary!

Now it is Thursday, and I have been waiting for three years for the results (you mean it's really only been three days?)  Sure there is still some fear, but to be honest, I am comfortable with whatever the results may be.  What I am anxious about is the path forward.  The waiting is the hardest part.  At the same time I know that whatever happens, I will take it on faith, and know that I walk this journey not alone.  And for all of you that are also on this journey, I have a whole new appreciation of you. I love you all!

My brothers, if you are of a certain age (😉😉) go and get your PSA checked.  It is a very simple blood test.