It has been four years since I retired from actively serving a church in the Indiana Conference of the UMC. I have not regretted that decision once. I knew it was time when I began hearing Neil Young sing on repeat in my head “Comes A Time”. I don’t feel (almost) 66 — well that is not completely true, most mornings, before I start my physical therapy, my body feels old — but my brain doesn’t. Much has changed over these last four years — almost all of it for good! But what happened one year earlier, set my life in this new course.
Five years ago yesterday, Fred H. Conger, Jr died, surrounded by family. He died as we were singing McNamara's Band, the song he loved to sing to his grandchildren and great grandchildren as he bounced them on his knee.
My name is McNamara, I'm the Leader of the Band,
And tho' we're small in number we're the finest in all the land.
Oh! Yes, I am the Conductor, and we very often play
With all the best musicians that you hear about everyday.
I wish I could sing it like he did. I have the out of key part covered, but just not all the words, nor the passion and gusto that he sang with. So much has changed; three weddings, three new grandchildren, retirements, and job changes. The one thing that has remained constant is family. He loved his family, and created traditions that Scott and I are trying to continue (joint family vacations is one big tradition my parents started).
I often wonder what life would be like if he was still here. While he may not be physically present, his spirit lives on in all of us. I don’t fully understand what comes next (neither did Paul since he told us it was like looking through a dark glass), but what I do believe is that heaven is a place where the love we create in this life, continues in the next.
Build love — it is truly the only thing that lasts.
