Genesis 32:24-30 Common English Bible
Jacob stayed apart by himself, and a man wrestled with him until dawn broke. When the man saw that he couldn’t defeat Jacob, he grabbed Jacob’s thigh and tore a muscle in Jacob’s thigh as he wrestled with him. The man said, “Let me go because the dawn is breaking.”
But Jacob said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.”
He said to Jacob, “What’s your name?” and he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name won’t be Jacob any longer, but Israel, because you struggled with God and with men and won.”
Jacob also asked and said, “Tell me your name.”
But he said, “Why do you ask for my name?” and he blessed Jacob there. Jacob named the place Peniel, “because I’ve seen God face-to-face, and my life has been saved.”
Each week Garrison Keillor would begin his monologue on a Prairie Home Companion with these words: "Well, it's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, my hometown, out there on the edge of the prairie."
Well, it’s been anything but a quiet week here at Meridian Street in Indianapolis
From Nancy and my inability to get home before last Sunday morning
In my 36 years as an ordained pastor, I have missed only two Sundays that I was scheduled to preach --- last Sunday and 28 years ago, when Haley, my youngest daughter decided to be born on a Sunday --- Elvis filled in for me that day (well an Elvis impersonator)
To getting all the final details ready for the big 200th Gala on Thursday
I have a secret to share --- it you promise not to tell --- yesterday was Raina’s 50th birthday
To trying to figure out how we could have Staff Parish meet this week
Which culminated in the announcement Dan shared at the start of the service --- that Nancy and I will be retiring at the end of this conference year.
Yes, it has been anything but a quiet week here at Meridian Street in Indianapolis
Earlier in the week I got a call from a member of a church that I served over 25 years ago, asking if I would meet with her niece.
She is a young woman (in her late 20’s early 30’s) who was struggling in her battle with what appears to be terminal cancer.
Doctors had recently told her that there was nothing more that they could do --- and as you can imagine she was depressed and struggling mightily.
As I met with her, she told me she was afraid ---
I asked her what she was afraid of, and she answered much as you would expect:
Fear of dying young
Fear of missing out on life
Fear of the process of dying
But what was one of the most prominent fears was her doubt --- which then made her fear for her salvation.
Can/will God welcome someone who has doubts into the kin-dom?
Or are they doomed to hell?
Probably not a worry for most of us, who are gathered here today
But it was a question of eternal significance to her.
It has been reported that 65 million adults --- who are alive today --- have dropped out of the church --- about 2.7 million each and every year.
People who study these things identify a number of reasons that people leave.
Brian McClaren in his introduction to his book Faith After Doubt writes:
Some leave because they begin to doubt God or the Bible or some of the doctrines and practices required by their churches. Many leave because they begin to doubt the church or synagogue or mosque itself as an institution worthy of their trust and support. Whatever the focus of their doubts, at this very moment, hundreds of thousands of people are watching their doubts grow and their religious identity weaken.
You may be one of those people.
Powerful and scary words --- especially when we consider that the church is the one place where you are told that you are not to have doubt.
We celebrate people of great faith!
We rarely talk about those who doubt --- unless of course they saw the light and got over it.
But if you persist in asking questions --- you are often silently and sometimes not so gently shoved off to the side --- as if we were afraid that their doubt might be catching.
I can’t tell you when my doubt became real --- but I can remember times --- waking up in a cold sweat wondering how I could continue to pastor --- in the midst of my doubt.
I remember telling a friend (a fellow clergy person) about my doubts and their response was that I should quit --- that was a long, long time ago.
But some of the doubts remain . . .
Jacob is one of my favorite characters in the Bible.
Jacob was the younger of twins, and throughout the pregnancy he and his brother Esau were fighting in the womb of their mother, Rebecca.
Rebecca is rather unhappy about this fighting that is going on inside of her and she takes her struggle to God and we are told that she asks God “why?”
“Why is this conflict going on within my womb?”
And the text tells us: (Genesis 25:23 The Message)
Two nations are in your womb,
two peoples butting heads while still in your body.
One people will overpower the other,
and the older will serve the younger.
The story goes on (Genesis 25:24-26 The Message)
When her time to give birth came.. . . The first came out reddish, as if snugly wrapped in a hairy blanket; they named him Esau (Hairy). His brother followed, his fist clutched tight to Esau’s heel; they named him Jacob (Heel).
Jacob, in Hebrew Ya’akob, means “supplanter.”
It was the perfect name for Jacob, as it spoke of his tendency to want to get ahead, to try and turn the tables and change the outcomes —
so that the smaller could become the greater,
the younger could gain the privilege of the older,
the one with little could get a lot.
There are a number of stories in Genesis about Jacob trying to best his brother.
In one story he convinces Esau to sell his birthright for a bowl of stew.
In another he and Rebecca create a plan to trick old, blind Isaac (his father) into giving his blessing to Jacob, when it should have gone to Esau.
When Esau finds out what has happened, you can imagine he was just a little upset at his brother for stealing their father’s blessing, and we are told that because of his brother’s anger --- Jacob the deceiver flees for his life.
Chapter 28 of the book of Genesis is all about Jacob on the run from an angry and murderous Esau.
On his way to his uncle’s home in Haran he lies down and dreams a remarkable dream. In his dream the Lord is poised atop a ladder, or a stairway, and from this place the Lord makes a promise to Jacob:
(Genesis 28:13-15 NRSV)
And the LORD stood beside him and said, "I am the LORD, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring; {14} and your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south; and all the families of the earth shall be blessed in you and in your offspring. {15} Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."
I am with you, God says.
I will protect you wherever you go.
I will bring you back.
I will not leave you.
At the heart of these promises is the promise of presence and protection.
God commits God-self unconditionally to be with Jacob.
As far as we know, this is Jacob’s first encounter with God. And the interesting thing is that the promises, by themselves, are not enough for Jacob.
He still doubts
Jacob wants proof.
Jacob wants to KNOW that God will deliver.
So, when he wakes from his dream, Jacob makes a vow.
It is an interesting vow:
(Genesis 28:20-21 NRSV)
"If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the LORD shall be my God,
God’s promises to Jacob were unconditional. Jacob, however, lays down conditions.
Jacob is concerned for his survival, for his safety, and for his well-being.
He is not certain that he can trust God --- and God’s promises.
I don't know about you, but too many times in my life I am just like Jacob.
God promises unconditional love, but I offer back conditions.
Eventually Jacob's past catches up with him.
The deceiver is deceived by his uncle and unaware he marries the ugly older sister instead of the beautiful sister that he loves.
After all kinds of twists and turns, the time comes for Jacob to return home.
In order to go home, he must face his past.
He must acknowledge those bad moments in his life.
And for the first time in his life --- Jacob feels afraid.
He is afraid of what his brother Esau might do to him.
Jacob decides that maybe he can placate Esau by bribing him --- again trying to be in control.
So Jacob sent send messengers ahead bearing extravagant gifts of goats, sheep, camels, bulls, and donkeys, 550 heads of livestock in all.
But before that can happen, Jacob encounters God and learns what it really means to see the face of God — to engage, to wrestle, in authentic relationship with another.
After Jacob has sent his possessions and his family — everything that he owns; to the other side of the Jabbok — he is utterly alone.
It is then that we read this remarkable story:
(Genesis 32:23-28 NRSV)
Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. {26} Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." {27} So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." {28} Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed."
This encounter is a turning point in Jacob’s life.
When Jacob wrestles—truly wrestles — with God — He receives a new name, and with that new name, he is transformed.
He is, as Paul writes in Galatians “a new creation”.
It was not an act of faith that made Jacob – Israel.
Jacob did not ascend to some faith statements
What changed Jacob was the fact that he wrestled with God
In all of his questions and doubts
He never believed --- but he learned to belove
When I look back at those critical moments in my life I find one constant
Not that I have the answers to all the questions that I wrestle with
What I have come to understand is ----
I don't wrestle alone
God wrestles with me
God weeps with me as I visited that young woman when I had no answers
God weeps with me over the ongoing violence in our city.
God weeps with how we, his children, have become divided over so many issues that are not eternal
I do not have the answers
--- but what I do know is that God is willing to wrestle with me
God wants to wrestle with you too
For the next few weeks, we are going to look at what it means to doubt
And how we can still be a follower of Jesus in the midst of that doubt.
Søren Kierkegaard --- one of my intellectual heroes --- suggest that for one to truly have belief in God, one would also have to doubt one's beliefs about God;
Did you hear that?
He goes on:
the doubt is the rational part of a person's thought involved in weighing evidence, without which the belief would have no real substance. Belief is not a decision based on evidence that, say, certain beliefs about God are true or a certain person is worthy of love. No such evidence could ever be enough to pragmatically justify the kind of total commitment involved in true theological belief or romantic love. Belief involves making that commitment anyway.
I am a Christian --- full of doubt --- but full of the conviction that God loves me --- anyway!
And God loves you too! Even in your doubts.
My prayer --- is that Meridian Street --- and each of us who call Meridian Street home --- can welcome the doubters and give them the room to wrestle with God.
