Faith After Doubt: It's A Labor of Love

 John 11:32-44 (CEB)

When Mary arrived where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.”

When Jesus saw her crying and the Jews who had come with her crying also, he was deeply disturbed and troubled. He asked, “Where have you laid him?”

They replied, “Lord, come and see.”

Jesus began to cry. The Jews said, “See how much he loved him!” But some of them said, “He healed the eyes of the man born blind. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

Jesus was deeply disturbed again when he came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone covered the entrance. Jesus said, “Remove the stone.”

Martha, the sister of the dead man, said, “Lord, the smell will be awful! He’s been dead four days.”

Jesus replied, “Didn’t I tell you that if you believe, you will see God’s glory?” So they removed the stone. Jesus looked up and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. I know you always hear me. I say this for the benefit of the crowd standing here so that they will believe that you sent me.” Having said this, Jesus shouted with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his feet bound and his hands tied, and his face covered with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Untie him and let him go.”

I always figure I am connecting when I get comments both praising my sermon series and others “concerned about it.”

It is clear that many of you have connected because you have your own questions --- as I have posed mine and my willingness to wrestle with God.

But I have also been told that sharing doubts makes some people uncomfortable because people prefer to follow those who are strong and confident.

I will tell you --- I am strong and confident in my doubts . . .

And from my very first Sunday with you, I have tried to be as open and honest with you about my faith, my struggles, and the direction I believe God is calling Meridian Church to go in.

I can assure that I don’t suffer from what theologian Peter Enns calls: The Sin of Certainty.

My life, and my faith are lived in shades of gray.

But I know that even though I have lots of questions --- I don’t walk this path alone.

As the Psalmist says: 

The Lord is my shepherd.

    I lack nothing.

He lets me rest in grassy meadows;

    he leads me to restful waters;

        he keeps me alive.

He guides me in proper paths

    for the sake of his good name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,

    I fear no danger because you are with me.

Your rod and your staff—

    they protect me.

We have walked through three of the four stages of faith as identified by Brian McLaren in his book, Faith After Doubt.

Simplicity

Complexity

Perplexity

Today we will look at the fourth stage

McLaren writes:

When I first began developing this four-stage schema, I called this final stage Humility.  The name seemed fitting because for me, Stage Four involved a sense of embarrassment about my earlier arrogance and naivete.  But it seemed even more arrogant and naïve to say one had reached a stage of Humility. I toyed with calling it Maturity . . . Commitment . . . Solidarity, Integrity and . . . Second Simplicity.  In the end, though, Harmony felt like the right name, primarily because it resonated with the new dimension of non-discriminatory love that became possible at this stage.

If you are familiar with Father Richard Rohr, you know that in his book Falling Upward, he describes the second half of life, in which we focus on filling up the container we created in the first half of life --- with meaning --- he too calls this Harmony.

For Rohr, there are two stages of life ---

Rohr suggests that the most significant difference between the two stages is that in the second half of life we become capable of non-dual seeing and thinking --- which is the way that contemplatives and mystics encounter the world.  

We learn to hold binaries in larger unities, 

to gather paradox and tension in a larger embrace, 

to welcome diversity without division, 

to hear difference without dissonance.

Dualistic thinking is the necessary work of Stage One – Simplicity

Good --- Bad

Like --- Dislike

Right --- Wrong

Male --- Female

Us --- Them

As we move into Stage Two --- Complexity --- we retain our dualistic thought process --- but we make it more complex

While there is absolute good and bad there are also variations of the two 

60/40   30/70 etc.

We struggle trying to understand the shades of gray

In Stage Three we see so much complexity that we begin to question if there was any reality to the dualism of stage one simplicity.

We begin to recognize that those who taught us dualist thought often had an agenda

The tragedy of it all is those dualisms can be used to bring harm

Dehumanization

Violence

Genocide

Destruction of God’s creation --- the earth

McLaren writes:

Finding ourselves deep in Perplexity, and feeling disillusioned with our naïve dualisms and pragmatisms, we face a stark and terrifying choice.  Will we become cynical nihilists, seeing through everything with our x-ray eyes so that meaning, purpose, value, reverence, and wonder become increasingly, then utterly, invisible?  For many people, the cynicism is the only intellectually honest opinion they’re aware of, so they surrender the search for meaning and they surrender to perpetual Perplexity, all dressed up in critical thinking with nowhere to go.

But for many of us that is not enough

Somehow, we become convinced that there has to be more than the perplexity of Stage Three thinking.

Whether it is through mystics or saints

Wise teachers

Poets

Pilgrimage or mystical experience

“In one way or another, [we] catch a scent, a faint music, a hint of an undiscovered country beyond Perplexity.”

McLaren used that term “undiscovered country” which comes from a scene in Hamlet, and in that scene it refers to death.

The illusion is somewhat fitting here, too, because there is indeed a kind of dying involved with passing through Perplexity into Harmony.  You might call it a death to ego or pride, as we relinquish our right to judge, to know, and to control.  You might call it a death to privilege, superiority, or supremacy, as we realize that all of us ultimately share in the human condition, and anyone who claims otherwise is either naïve or hypocritical. (McLaren p.96)

If you were to try and describe faith in this stage of Harmony --- it would be: 

a humble reverent openness to mystery that expresses itself in non-discriminatory love.

In this stage of spiritual growth --- we begin to look at the world differently.

• We begin to see things without the obsessive dualistic judgments of Simplicity

• Without the pragmatic analysis that is almost compulsive in Complexity

• Without the deconstructing suspicions of Perplexity

If I was to describe the first three stages --- in a nutshell --- it would be using the tools at our disposal to try and be in control over what we know.

As we began to wrestle with Perplexity --- we began to doubt our own cynicism --- which is such an important hallmark of Perplexity.

We doubt our own doubts

McLaren puts it this way:

Our naïve certainty, excessive confidence, and obsessive deconstruction began to burn away in a self-consuming blast furnace.  We finally descended to a point so low that instead of looking down on everything, we had to look up at it from a humbled position of under-standing, you might say, and in do doing, we became capable of encountering something without needing to control it.  Rather we were able simply to see it, and perhaps even to see it with love.

One of my early experiences with Harmony was forced on my a few years following 9/11.

I was reading John Updike’s book Terrorist and simultaneously working with an interfaith group that sent medical supplies throughout the world.

I was in many ways --- through Updike’s novel --- forced to confront my xenophobia, and I began to be able to see, particularly my Muslim neighbor as a neighbor and not as a threat.

I was able to work through all the labels and prejudices that were a part of my character

Now before I sound good and self-righteous --- It didn’t last

But it gave me a glimpse of what was possible

But when I am honest with myself --- there was another glimpse of Harmony that happened even earlier.

Sometime around 1995 I participated in a mission trip to the non-touristy areas of Jamaica --- we were working, helping to restore a church in the Southern foothills of the mountains that run across Jamaica

One evening, and I do not remember how or why --- I went for a hike away from the home that we were staying in --- and trekked up one of the hillsides by myself.

Over the years I have often be told that I don’t have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders --- it is a problem I have had my entire life --- even as a teenager.  

I was always that “serious kid”

That night --- I especially felt the weight of the world --- I am sure that is why I went off by myself.

I have never really seriously wrestled with my call --- what I have wrestled with is “am I living out my call as I am supposed to?”

That night --- I was wrestling.

I felt I was at one of those crossroads in my life.

As I sat there, off in the distance --- way up on the Mocha Mountains --- I could see massive conveyor systems moving large quantities of bauxite from the hillsides to the plants.

I had never seen anything like it in my life

The conveyor belt was all lit up

It was a huge operation

I have to tell you I was mesmerized by it --- and must have gazed at it for a long – long time as I asked God --- what did God want of me?

But at some point --- my gaze shifted skyward --- and being out in the middle of nowhere --- with almost no ambient light (the bauxite mines were a long way off) --- the heavens opened up to me.

The milky way filled the sky and I was suddenly very small

Small in relationship to the mines I saw off in the distance

Even smaller in relation to creation

And I heard God speak to me

Not an answer

But that same reality I feel when I read the 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my shepherd.

    I lack nothing.

He guides me in proper paths

    for the sake of his good name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,

    I fear no danger because you are with me.

Harmony

I am not there yet --- I am still becoming,

But the strengths and weaknesses I have worked though on my spiritual journey have prepared me for learning to live in Harmony.

I chose this scripture, today, because it speaks to me of this journey of faith that we are on.

The simplicity of believing that if Jesus had been there --- Lazarus would never had died.

The complexity and perplexity of seeking pragmatic explanations for his death and current predicament.

And the love --- the radical love that Jesus demonstrates.

In two weeks, I am going to finish this series (at least for now) and help you to glimpse what this radical love looks like it.

And most importantly --- how we can live that love.

McLaren writes:

Doubt is the doorway to love . . .Doubt prepares the way for a new kind of faith after (and with) doubt, a humbled and harmonious faith, a faith that expresses itself in love.

Doubt as Descent

 Mark 15:33-39 (NRSV)

When it was noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. At three o’clock Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” When some of the bystanders heard it, they said, “Listen, he is calling for Elijah.” And someone ran, filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a stick, and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” Then Jesus gave a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. Now when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was God’s Son!”

Last week we began to really start to dig into this idea of doubt or questions that exist within our faith.

I shared that the first stage of faith development is what Brian McLaren calls: Simplicity. 

In this first stage we master the skills of dualism --- learning to distinguish between this and that --- Good and bad --- right and wrong.

Important things that we all must learn to stay safe --- but simplicity can only take us so far on our journey.

What matters in this first stage is Simple trust

Simple obedience

Simple unquestioning loyalty

In this first stage --- God is up there --- setting the rules --- demanding trust --- requiring obedience and mandating punishment when rules are broken.

In this first stage God is like a parent to a small child

The parent knows best --- and the child follows the instructions --- no questions asked

The unfortunate reality is that for millions if not billions of people --- faith and religion are a strictly stage one phenomenon --- they live their lives wrapped in the blanket of simplicity.

The reason for that is because moving from this first stage to the next requires the doorway or passageway of doubt.

And doubt is anathema to simplistic faith

Doubt is what one is taught to avoid at all costs.

McLaren puts it this way:

Doubt, it turns out, is the passageway from each stage to the next.  Without doubt, there can be growth within a stage, but growth from one stage to another usually requires us to doubt the assumptions that give shape to our current stage.

McLaren uses the image of a tree and the various growth rings to illustrate growth stages.

In our Thursday discussion group, Jim Miller, recommended the image of a soup pot, because --- he suggested --- growth is not as linear as the rings imply.

I do think Jim is onto something

For our purposes --- lets stick with the tree rings.

If stage one can be characterized as SIMPLICITY stage two can be seen as defined by COMPLEXITY.

Stage one teaches the joy of being right

Stage two introduces us to the idea of being effective.

My first distinct remembrance of stage two thought occurred when I was in my first year at Divinity School.

I was in an Old Testament class being taught by a great Roman Catholic biblical scholar Roland Murphy --- (I could go on for a day or two the ways this giant of a man influenced my life)

Father Murphy was introducing us to some of the peculiarities of the Hebrew Bible and instead of TELLING us what we needed to believe --- he asked questions --- and let us wrestle with our answers. 

It was so freeing

I can’t remember ever experiencing anything like it before.

I am sure that Father Murphy had answers he wanted to steer us toward

But he listened to us and heard us and acknowledged that other good --- well-meaning Christians came up with different answers as well.

The bible was more complex than many believed and so too was our faith journey.

Learning and studying --- thinking for myself and reaching my own conclusions --- are a part of what it means to be a stage two Christian.

What motives one during this stage is the desire to achieve goals --- because at this stage one believes that everything is possible.

Rather than seeing the world as being divide into good and evil like in stage one, in this stage one tends to focus on winners and losers.

Where stage one helps us to understand the joy of being right

Stage two is all about being effective

The pragmatic nature of persons in stage two often makes them comfortable with church shopping.  

Stage one folk tend to leave a church only when the church becomes exposed as bad, incorrect, or wrong.

Stage two folk are pragmatic and thus have no problem asking: “What works best for me?”  and jumping to another church if thy seem to have the better solutions.

And instead of growing toward stage three --- many stage two people just shift from being a stage two United Methodist to a stage two Presbyterian, or even a stage two None.

They are still pragmatic --- seeking “what works best for me”

What happens is that some feel increasingly alienated from the dualism of stage one and the pragmatism of stage two.

They lose their faith in both the authoritarian leaders of simplicity ---

But also in the success coaches of complexity

Both groups make promises that they cannot deliver on --- and are often seen as being less than honest in their ability to face life’s deeper questions and challenges.

This desire for honesty and depth and the crisis of faith that stages one and two can create --- will often lead people into stage three which McLaren calls: PERPLEXITY.

McLaren writes: 

Life, folks in Stage Three feel, is more than simple and more than complex: it is downright mysterious, downright perplexing.  What physicists say about quantum mechanics is true for all of life: reality is not only stranger than we imagined, but stranger than we can imagine.  Looks deceive, appearances lie. Full truths are far less convenient than half-truths and lies.  Confident people are often con artists, and their simple rules and promises are often little more than tricks for controlling the gullible and making a profit at their expense.

When you are in that dynamic --- liminal --- space that McLaren calls perplexity --- doubt and deconstruction, --- suspicion and relativism are not an enemy that needs to be kept locked up --- instead they are doorways to insight and liberation.

Brian McLaren is often a teacher at Father Richard Rohr’s Center for Action and Contemplation in New Mexico --- one of the core teachings at CAC is what they call “the path of descent”

It is the idea that at some point in our spiritual journey we will be required to descend into a dark tunnel --- to descend into the unknown and into doubt --- to descend into a loss of certainty --- into a process that will often feel like dying.

It is what Jesus did in the garden --- 

we find ourselves crying with him --- “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me;” 

--- and when Jesus was on the cross we too call out: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Of course, resurrection is what comes from this descent --- but when you are in the midst of that dark night of the soul --- hearing that is not a comfort.

This is a challenging stage because it is often very uncomfortable as we descent often into deeper and deeper doubt that never seems to end.

Mother Teresa’s testimony about her doubt is a powerful reminder that doubt is a normal part of our spiritual growth  .

If you recall, after her death a collection of personal letters that she had written to her spiritual advisers was published. The book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, revealed that she was plagued by serious doubts about her faith. 

In one undated letter, Mother Teresa writes, my God, I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd my heart, afraid to uncover them because of the blasphemy. If there be God, please forgive me. When I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. I am told God loves me, and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great, nothing touches my soul.

Charles W. Sidoti, coordinator of spiritual care at the Cleveland Clinic shows his understanding of the power of her message when he writes:

The revelations about Mother Teresa’s doubts do not alter my belief in God or my admiration of her virtuous, God-centered life. They confirm it. The simple truth is that faith must co-exist with doubt, or it cannot be called faith. Faith without doubt or at least the possibility for doubt, is something else — fanaticism or extremism possibly, but not faith. The God that Mother Teresa professed belief in is not an otherworldly pie-in-the-sky god but rather a God whose presence transcends and envelops, who comes to us from within creation yet can seem hidden and very difficult to perceive. This is the basis of our need for faith — real, doubt-containing faith.

It is in this stage of perplexity that we begin to understand that we really don’t understand.

This humility is the center of a mature faith

So, while I described perplexity as being deconstructive in nature it is not destructive!

Actually, it is a constructive passageway on our way to toward the fourth stage that McLaren calls HARMONY but I think a better word is love.

We spent the summer talking about Love --- I will conclude this series by helping us to see love as the culmination of doubt.

Because I am convinced that faith is all about love.

We just didn’t realize that was the case --- and for me --- it took doubt to help me see it.

As we prepare to invite Jesus to take our hands --- may we open our hearts and experience the power and love of Jesus.

Doubt as Crisis

 Mark 10:46-52    Common English Bible

Jesus and his followers came into Jericho. As Jesus was leaving Jericho, together with his disciples and a sizable crowd, a blind beggar named Bartimaeus, Timaeus’ son, was sitting beside the road. When he heard that Jesus of Nazareth was there, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, show me mercy!” Many scolded him, telling him to be quiet, but he shouted even louder, “Son of David, show me mercy!”

Jesus stopped and said, “Call him forward.”

They called the blind man, “Be encouraged! Get up! He’s calling you.”

Throwing his coat to the side, he jumped up and came to Jesus.

Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

The blind man said, “Teacher, I want to see.”

Jesus said, “Go, your faith has healed you.” At once he was able to see, and he began to follow Jesus on the way.

The other day someone mentioned that they have a friend who says that they have no doubts. 

I bet we all know a few people like that

But that is not me!

I wish I could live with out doubts --- but I can’t.

It sometimes seems as if doubt is wired into my DNA --- and from what many of you have said to me this past week --- I don’t think I am alone.

Almost 15 years ago, I received this email from an 18-year-old college student.  A young woman who grew up in the church and believes strongly in the ethic of helping one another.

She wrote to me:

"I think it's a really good thing that you're working on a curriculum designed to help people deal with the questions and doubts that they should have about their faith. When I got old enough to realize how historically unreliable and intellectually fallible the Christian Bible is, I pretty much just gave it all up and was really angry because I felt like I had been lied to my whole life by teachers I thought I could trust at church. Kind of how a kid might feel when they finally figure out that Santa isn't real and that they were being systematically lied to.

As much as I wish I didn't, I still feel resentful. It's really fascinating though, what an incredibly huge role religion plays in shaping the beliefs, views, and actions of huge groups of people all over the world. I am actually considering taking on a theology major because I think it would be a huge asset in my quest to better understand why the world works the way that it does. Right now I am taking a class called "Women In The Bible" and it is really very interesting, but I feel weird because the people in the class all believe in God and Jesus. I don't have anything against any person of any faith, but I guess I just feel like they probably look down on people like me. 

One of my biggest struggles with Christianity is that we are known for shooting our wounded.

If you are active in a Christian Church --- particularly a more conservative form of Christianity (although they do not hold all of these cards) and you come out with your doubts --- you will quickly be instructed on the things that you need to believe --- and you need to believe them NOW.

For me it became a crisis of faith.

It wasn’t the doubts that created the crisis, but rather the dishonesty that had to surround those doubts.

I couldn’t talk about them

So I had to find ways to avoid or hide those doubts

And what I realized is that the hypocrisy and self-deception became more dangerous than the doubts.

The pretending was where the real tension in my life came to play

As I look back the crisis was not really over my doubts, but how others saw my wrestling with God.

And it came to a head over 20 years ago on a Sunday morning.

On the way out of the service a woman stopped me and complained about the translations we used and she said: “If the King James was good enough for Jesus, it is good enough for me!” and she stormed off.

I was dumbfounded --- I had no idea what to even say --- but as I reflected on it --- a few lightbulbs went off in my head.

I had absolutely no doubts that Jesus NEVER spoke the King James English --- he didn’t speak ANY English.  Aramaic would have been his native language --- but that fact did not seem important to that woman.  She was not about to let facts get in the way of her certainty.

I began to realize that the fear that some people put into me was unfounded --- You know --- the idea that if we question one moral absolute then you will soon be questioning them all.

The notion that doubt was a slippery slope and would lead to more doubt

But I was realizing that just wasn’t true

I came to understand my faith --- my religion --- not as a fortress to protect me --- but instead I began to understand faith as being a journey --- a path --- a road --- and one that I don’t always know where it is leading me.

Brian McLaren in Faith After Doubt writes:

The ancient truths weren’t the destinations.  They were like milestones or road signs, inviting people to reach them and then keep moving, looking for the next milestone or road sign, and the next, and so on.  Jesus wasn’t abolishing them; he was fulfilling their intention.  Their intention was to invite people to grow, to keep exploring, to continue the journey on the road of faith. But so many churches are using them to hold people and keep them from growing.  We’ve turned milestones into roadblocks.

One of the things that I have seen over my nearly 40 years is that confirmation becomes one of those milestones, but instead of inviting people to continue on to a more mature journey --- it becomes an exit ramp from active faith.  The number of youth (and families) that disappear after confirmation should be alarming to us all!

For me, seeing my faith as a journey allowed me to look at the questions, not as limits on my relationship with God, but instead as opportunities to grown.

In his book, Faith After Doubt, Brian McLaren develops the idea that there are four stages of growth in faith development.

Doubt, he argues is the passageway from one stage to the next.

Without questioning and wrestling with doubt we can grow within a stage, but we are unable to breakthrough to the next stage.

He developed the idea of faith being like rings in a tree --- each stage includes and transcends its predecessors.

I want to spend a few minutes this morning talking about what he considers the first stage of growth --- he calls this first stage SIMPLICITY.

He uses that term because everything revolves around a simple mental function of sorting almost everything into one of two categories.

In this first stage we master the mental skills of dualism --- learning to distinguish between this and that --- Good and bad --- right and wrong.

Important things that we all must learn to stay safe --- but simplicity can only take us so far on our journey.

This dualism --- particularly social dualism --- creates a strong sense of loyalty and identity among us. 

But it also creates a strong sense of anxiety and even hostility about “others”, outsiders, and the outcasts.

This first stage is built on trust.

The young woman in my email trusted her teachers when they told her that Adam and Eve ate an apple given by a talking snake.

Just like she trusted her parents that Santa and the Easter Bunny were real

What matters in this first stage is Simple trust

Simple obedience

Simple unquestioning loyalty

The sad reality is that faith and religion are a strictly stage one phenomenon for millions if not billions of people.

          

In this first stage --- God is the up there --- setting the rules --- demanding trust --- requiring obedience and mandating punishment when rules are broken.

In this first stage God is much like a parent to a small child

But any of you who have had children know --- they eventually grow up and move into adolescence and the parenting skills and practices that you used with a toddler don’t work well with a teenager.

This stage of simplicity is in many ways like school --- we are taught the basics; we learn the morals necessary for independence and as we learn these things we want to move out and live with that new found freedom.

The only way out of this stage is doubt.

It is kind of funny --- the one group in the church that often wrestles openly with this doubt are those young people going through confirmation.

They begin questioning that the rules are always absolute

Why is homosexuality an absolute but tattoos, or mixed cloth garments aren’t?

Why is slavery allowed in the bible?

Questions most of us want to avoid.

They notice inconsistencies in the biblical stories.

How we react to their questioning and doubts makes a huge difference if they continue on this journey or check out after reaching the milestone called confirmation.

Next week I will look further at these stages, particularly the second and third stages.

Just so you can begin thinking about it --- McLaren calls the second stage COMPLEXITY.

The stage of Simplicity focuses on dualism.

In our Gospel story this morning we are told that Jesus has been at the town of Jericho and is now getting ready to make the trek up to Jerusalem as the next story in Mark’s Gospel is Jesus’ triumphal entry into the holy city.

As Jesus was leaving Jericho, together with his disciples and a sizable crowd, a blind beggar named Bartimaeus, Timaeus’ son, was sitting beside the road. When he heard that Jesus of Nazareth was there, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, show me mercy!” Many scolded him, telling him to be quiet, 

What is going on here?

As Jesus is leaving town, with a large crowd gathered around him, and a blind outcast man begins to shout at Jesus.

You don’t do that

Can you imagine if the beggars around our city --- instead of walking back and forth carrying their signs on the street corners --- instead began shouting at us!

The rules of society today and in Jesus’ time was that the outcasts were to keep quiet and not bother the rest of us.  And so, we should not be surprised when the crowd begins to tell him to be quiet.

But what does Bartimaeus do?

“he shouted even louder, “Son of David, show me mercy!””

The rules were simple --- blind people were that way because either they or their parents had sinned, and the blindness was God’s punishment on them.

Bartimaeus refused to believe those rules and thought there was more to faith than what he had been taught.  And he had heard the stories of Jesus saying “You have been told, but I tell you”, in which he would re-interpret the rules in a new way.  He wanted to experience that faith --- even if the crowd didn’t want him to.

Jesus said to his disciples and the crowd, “Call him forward.” . . .

Throwing his coat to the side, he jumped up and came to Jesus.

Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

The blind man said, “Teacher, I want to see.”

Jesus said, “Go, your faith has healed you.” At once he was able to see, and he began to follow Jesus on the way.

His faith made him well --- I love that statement --- where did he show FAITH?

He broke the rules of society!

If he had faith --- it was that Jesus was bigger than those rules!

Simplicity is like a well-worn cozy blanket that we wrap ourselves in.

It gives us the rules and the norms to live in society.

But --- when things are not so neat and easy 

When a baby dies

A child gets cancer

A loved one loses their job

Then we are stuck with trying to figure out what we do.

And at that point we have a choice --- we can sit quietly (like Bartimaeus was supposed to do) or we can do what he did and seek another way.

I love the book Life of Pi and the quote from it at the top of your bulletin.

If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” then surely we are also permitted doubt.  But we must move on.  To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.

And that is the goal --- to use our doubt to help us grow in our relationship with God and each other --- not to stay stuck in it.  

Where do you doubt

What are the sticking places in your faith journey?

Bring them to God and allow God to help us use them as we grow in love for God and each other.  Amen.

Retirement Letter to Meridian Street UMC

As many of you know, this past year has been personally challenging. Many great things have happened, but also some life altering ones. The death of my father, and the arrival soon of our grandson has led Nancy and me to contemplate what comes next in our journey together. Like many of you, COVID has forced us to look at our lives in new ways. As a result of much soul searching and prayer, we have decided to retire from active ministry at the end of this conference year.

 

During our six years at Meridian Street many exciting things have taken place and we have created some lifelong friends. We have seen many improvements to the building such as completion of the Welcome Center, painting of the church, remodel of the parlor kitchen, two new playgrounds and the addition of the beautiful Celebration Terrace that was recently dedicated.

 

In addition, we have seen many new and exciting opportunities for personal growth; mission trips, Serve Indy, new and expanded partnerships with many agencies in our city, and bible and book studies to help us grow closer to God and learn how diversity and justice can co-exist in this world. Furthermore, there were many creative ways that we learned to adapt during the last year and a half, not the least of which is the addition of Livestream in the Sanctuary allowing us to connect in amazing ways. All of these have positioned Meridian Street for a bright future. The opportunity to be here to celebrate the 200^th Anniversary is the icing on the cake.

 

The Staff Parish Relations Team was notified of our decision last Thursday, and it was announced on Sunday during the worship service. I will continue as your pastor until the end of June 2022 and look forward to many opportunities to share the love of Christ with our neighbors.

 

Thanks for all that you do to share the love of Jesus and help build God’s kin-dom.

 

Peace, 

Steve & Nancy Conger