Luke 10:38-42 (CEB)
While Jesus and his disciples were traveling, Jesus entered a village where a woman named Martha welcomed him as a guest. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his message. By contrast, Martha was preoccupied with getting everything ready for their meal. So Martha came to him and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to prepare the table all by myself? Tell her to help me.”
The Lord answered, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things. One thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better part. It won’t be taken away from her.”
So which are you?
Are you more of a Mary or a Martha?
When I was younger I was clearly a Martha
Work came first
I can’t tell you how many soccer games or band concerts that I either missed or had to come too late over the years.
The worst was in the fall of 2006, 15 years ago.
I received a Lilly grant for a sabbatical, and I spent a month of my time in Israel --- (by myself)
It was an amazing trip --- I saw parts of Israel that I have never seen since, and I got the opportunity to meet Israeli’s and Palestinians.
It was the sophomore year of my middle daughter Lindsey, and she was playing varsity soccer at Munster High School.
While I was in Israel, I missed the last few games of the season
Little did I know that she would not play soccer the next year.
I remember being devastated when I missed her last game
I was Martha and had not chosen the better part.
I imagine --- that if you are honest with yourself --- many of you were --- or maybe still are --- Martha’s as well.
Right now we have the group that is studying implicit bias.
My reality of being a Martha is because of the bias that I have been inculcated with throughout my life.
I was taught --- not always overtly --- but often subtly --- that getting ahead is the goal
Early to bed
early to rise
makes a man healthy, wealth and wise
Success is measured by how much you have
Clothes matter
Cars matter
Homes matter
The early bird catches the worm
The board of ordained ministry and the local church Staff Parish Relations Committee did nothing to dispel this ethos.
And the funny thing is that every generation is convinced that the generations that follow them are lazy and not very motivated.
I know that I heard that from the previous generations.
But I also know that I am guilt of that attitude.
And I hear it from my peers all the time.
The American ethos is built on hard work and getting ahead
That is the motivation behind our system
For many of us, we become so busy,
So preoccupied
So distracted --- that we miss opportunities to just be in the moment.
Often we miss out on opportunities to be with those closest to us because we take for granted that our loved ones will always be there.
They simply form part of the background of our lives, or we put off spending quality time with them until “everything else is checked off the list.”
What I would give to be able to talk with my dad again.
Every Sunday, my dad and I would talk on my way home from church.
I miss that so much!
Our Gospel story this morning follows the story of the Good Samaritan.
In this Gospel story we find Jesus and the disciples on the road nearing Jerusalem.
They enter the village of Bethany where Mary and Martha, sisters of Lazarus live.
Martha understands the importance of hospitality in first century Judea and goes out of her way to make sure that Jesus is taken care of. Luke tells us that she made him “feel quite at home.”
Mary, however, sits down with Jesus and “hangs on every word he said.”
Martha was trying to get a meal put together and was annoyed that Mary was not helping her.
She says to Jesus: “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”
And Jesus response has challenged us all ever since:
“Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”
Or as the CEB translation puts it:
“Mary has chosen the better part. It won’t be taken away from her.”
Martha misses the opportunity to be with Jesus, but she also misses the opportunity to be with Mary and to enjoy what Jesus calls the “better part.”
It is not that what Martha has chosen to do is wrong or bad.
It is necessary work, and she is focused on providing hospitality --- and she thinks Mary should be doing the same.
Too many times, we too, when we become distracted take for granted that our way is the only way.
And when that happens, we can miss opportunities to connect with loved ones and friends.
I think Jesus is inviting us to look at what roles we take on in our families and communities.
And also, to recognize the roles of others.
If we find ourselves distracted or dissatisfied, maybe this is a chance to change the ways we usually interact with family.
Yesterday was the Gathering of Men --- I love this group of guys who come together to eat bacon and talk about some of the challenging topics of the day.
We usually do not have the answers
But it is a safe place to ask questions.
If you have never been --- I encourage you to give it a try.
I have not met with these guys in person since early last year.
Last month I could not come to the church, so I joined them on zoom.
And I was looking forward to being with them yesterday.
Then my daughter decided to schedule Hattie’s birthday party for yesterday (in Chicagoland, of course).
We had already decided to go up to a graduation party Friday night in Munster --- but had planned to come home late Friday night.
When Kevin and Shari heard that we had a birthday party to go to on Saturday, they invited us to spend the night at their house after their daughter’s graduation party.
Missing church things is not easy for me.
I feel guilty
It is those dang subconscious biases that have been drilled in my head.
So sometimes I have to struggle with the roles that I think that I am supposed to play.
And sometimes, I must choose a different way.
We all have roles that we have allowed to define us.
And in the end --- this weekend, I got to spend time with Kevin just talking about life and with my family as we celebrated Hattie’s 3rd birthday.
In this scripture Martha’s role within her family is more activity-oriented;
she actively serves in the home and maybe also the community.
Mary’s role is more contemplative, to have quiet time with Jesus.
To learn and study and grow
By becoming overly focused on her role, Martha has missed an opportunity to not only connect with Jesus, but also with her sister.
How many times have I been connected to an event, and in reality I have missed it, because I was too distracted by everything?
The history of this text’s interpretation is an interesting one.
In the Middle Ages this text was employed to privilege the monastic life over life in “the world.”
It was considered more blessed in the eyes of God to be in a monastery praying than in a village working and raising a family.
Some have argued that the Mary and Martha story was used to keep women from the active part of church life and relegated them to passive roles and out of leadership.
Well defined gender roles ran deep in the church for centuries, and stories like Mary and Martha were employed to justify them.
Others have argued, quite to the contrary, that Jesus’s acceptance of Mary as a disciple means full participation of women in the life of the church.
My friends, the point of this story is not that we should be still and listen 100% of the time nor focus exclusively on the pre-defined roles that society has given us.
Rather, we need to be willing to think critically about our roles --- and not always get caught up in them.
Jesus wants us to learn when it is important to prioritize other things, particularly time with those closest to us.
And I can tell you it is not easy to do --- but I am trying to learn.
Over these past few months, I have learned, in a whole new way of what it is like to be ministered too.
As I have tried to help my mother navigate this past year, and to do our best to keep my father safe --- you --- YOU have reminded me that family is much deeper than blood.
The cards, the emails, the phone calls, the personal visits that you have surrounded me with has been amazing.
And I am trying to slow down and be in that moment.
The amazing staff here at Meridian Street has been wonderful in helping me to create space so that I could choose the better way.
And I have felt your love and encouragement and I have had to let go of some of my normal roles and do somethings that are not as natural to me.
Thank you!
So are you a Mary or a Martha?
I believe that the ultimate challenge is to find balance between them.
Serving and being served
Leaning too much toward either extreme is --- in the end --- not very healthy.
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