I sit here this morning thinking to myself — has it really been a year? Has it really been that long ago? One year ago today, I was on the last day of my Renewal Leave. To be honest — it seems a lot longer ago than a year. Tomorrow, I will spend the rest of the money from the Lilly Grant, I will use it to pay for the family trip to Israel this Christmas.
As I sit at home this morning, after taking a week of vacation time (not doing the honey do list that Nancy has for me . . .) I wanted to take a few minutes and ponder how my life is different following the Renewal Leave.
First, I don’t think I take myself as seriously anymore. And that is a good thing. I can be so anal about things at times, but I think that I have gotten a lot better. For me, one example of that was the finance campaign that just concluded at the church. I really stayed on the outside and tried to help from there. Often I am writing the letters, etc, but I really did nothing other than help identify the theme that would be used. Even in my preaching during the campaign, I let the speakers deal with the money issues, and I tried to stick with the commitment issues. Big change for me.
On the flip side of that is that I am much less cautious about what I say. I preached about a month ago on the issue of Christianity being the "exclusive way to God." I suggested, and said quite clearly that I did not believe that Jesus said the words in John 14:6 (I am the way . . .no one comes to the father except through me.) I also invited anyone who had questions about it to come and talk with me. Well, the result was predictable. 2 people came and talked with me, One of those two left the church )but they had been on their way out for some time and I just provided them with a convenient excuse. The sad part is, they took two other couples with them who haven’t been willing to talk. I hope and pray that they find what they are looking for.
While speaking my mind is important, I know that I have to temper it with the audience that I am talking to. (Jeez – it is comments like that they make me feel like a shaman!) And that is what I hate about being in ministry. Too many people do not listen — they only hear what they are looking for (myself included!)
The second lesson, is to take better care of myself. I try to be much more intentional about taking days off, and saying NO to some things. Still a work in progress, however.
A third lesson is to enjoy the things that bring me pleasure, and that I am good at. I love teaching, (and I think that I am pretty good at it) and I have decided to make that a priority in my ministry. There are too many things that I am not good at, and that aren’t real important that I do that I can delegate to others. And I know that I delegate a lot more today than I did a year ago.
Finally, I have come to realize that I don’t have it all figured out — and that is OK. My hunch is anyone who says that they do, are full of baloney! I am a fellow traveler on this journey of life, enjoying the love of God and family and friends. And that is really the fourth lesson — RELATIONSHIPS is what life is all about. And I have come to learn, that I cannot have a relationship with God (or Jesus) without being in a relationship with others. And that is the greatest gift in life!
Thanks Lilly and thanks Ridge Church — what a blessing the Renewal Leave was. And YES, I will apply again when I am eligible, and regardless of whether I get another grant, I will take a Renewal leave again!